Long Story

I do not get along with my mother. She has always hated me and I am not just saying that. She has always been jealous of me.

I will try to make a long story, short. My parents were married for 11 years. My mother says when she met my father, they dated for a while and then he wouldn't take NO for an answer and that is how I got here. Ok, so they married. Then came my brother about 1 year and 2 months after myself. My father was and is an alcoholic and he was very abusive towards my mother and myself and my brother.

OK, so they separated when I was 11 and got a divorce. Of course my mother went through he second childhood. Ok, fine. She allowed my brother and I to do things that teenagers shouldn't be allowed to do. I moved out of her house for good at 16 but when I was 16 she called the house and told me she wasn't going to put food in the house anymore, so I moved out. We have never really gotten along, I have just kissed her butt to make her happy all my life.

All my life I have done everything I could for my mother. Anyhow, I got pregnant at 19, 11 years ago,  and my grandmother wanted to help care for my son when he was born plus I was doing my grandmothers grocery shopping and bill paying. So I moved her to the town I was in to better care for her and for help with my son.

No big deal. I have cared for her since then. She was diagnosed with Alzhiemers about 2 1/2 years ago and since then has deteriorated alot. A little over a year ago I could no longer care for her. It was too much so I called her Dr and Adult Protective Service, and attorney's, etc. They all agreed that she needed more assistance and a nursing home was the right choice.

So I called my mother before all of this to let them know my thoughts. Of course, her or my aunt did not approve. Long story short, my grandmother is in a nursing home and healthy and happy. Now the family agrees she is in the right place.

Now, about 2 months after she checked in there, my aunt thinks it is gonna fly with me that she gets my mental incompetent grandmother to sign over power of attorney to her. Well, I, in turn, file for Guardianship. I win. I am now my grandmothers guardian but.........

In the process of checking her in, my mother and aunt were allowed to go into my grandmothers house and pack the keepsakes for my grandmother to be stored at their houses. Well, everyone was starting to fight and no one was agreeable. I got sick of this and my mother emailed me telling me not to contact her until further notice unless via email. She said it just like that. O..K..

Well I had already told her that no one was taking anything out of that house and to return the other things because no one was agreeable and I had had enough. If no one could agree, we would put my grandmothers things back until we could all agree on the best course of action. I then go into my grandmothers apartment, across the hall from mine and it looks as if someone had robbed her. It was really bad, even the cop was surprised.......

I called my attorney who, in turn, advised me to call the cops because I could not call my mother as she had asked me not to. I called, cops arrived, they called my mother. She was pissed, I was pissed, and then I had to call my aunt to let her know that she needed to return the items she had as well. She was mad too. Oh well..........

So I get everything back and put it all in storage after taking inventory. So, my mother hates me now and has emailed me of this hatred. Says I stole my grandmothers money, yeah right, she's on SSI. How do you steal from that? She had me investigated with false allegations of theft. I was of course cleared of that in 5 minutes flat because the invesitgator realized it was just a mad family member trying to get me into trouble.

She has no respect for me and doesn't like me. Won't talk to me because I will not sign a visitation schedule for her to visit my son but she doesn't want one to visit my daughter that is 7 months old! Go figure! She wants nothing to do with me or my daughter. She wants to turn my son against me. And she has tried!

She talks about being Christian and believing in God and praying and she isn't sick! Thaty's a damn lie, she was diagnosed Bi Polar, she needs her meds and won't take them. She's is crazy but she doesn't know it. She's turned paranoid! Anyhow, she hates me. I have apologized for upsetting her with the call to the cops. She doesn't believe I was advised to do so. She's pissed because she can't have control over my grandmother.

I do not consider my guardianship control. I consider it caretaking. WHICH UNTIL MY GRANNY WENT INTO A HOME, NO ONE ELSE WANTED TO DO!!!!!!!!! For 10 years, no one wanted to do a damn thing and then BAM they all show up and want to help. Ok, where have you been? What makes you think you can come in and take over my duty? NOT! It won't ever happen! They should have been there through thick and thin. The Judge saw it. Thank God!!!!!!!

Anyhow, this is the story of why my mother hates me and why I wish she didn't but she does and I am not sure this can be repaired. She sees nothing wrong with denying that she has a daughter and lying about EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! And I mean everything. She has the entire so called "family" against me and she knows it. She did it on purpose. She thinks no one will ever notice that she is nuttier than a fruitcake!!!!!!

Anyhow, I love my mother and I don't know what else to do to repair it. I think that abotu sums it up.

lomax2007 lomax2007
26-30, F
2 Responses Aug 21, 2007

I could have written this. Not the details, but my "mother" was just as bad. On the one hand, I'm sorry anyone else had to go through hell from their own mother, but at the same time I'm glad to know it's not just me. And that it doesn't make me a bad person for moving on without her. Thank you for sharing.

This comment is coming 4 years after your story was written but I still felt the need to add my two cents.<br />
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I feel your pain and I understand. You deserve a hundred big hugs. You have described a mother who doesn't hold herself accountable. You can list a number of disorders but the bottom line is that she hold everyone else responsible for what she believes she has been denied. You can't solve that.<br />
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Forgive yourself for being her child and you'll feel better.<br />
<br />
Deanna 410