Children Or No Children?My finace and I are getting married in less than a month. We are both 23. He is very adamant about not wanting children. I am adamant about not wanting children for at least 10 years because we have large student loan debt, I have a good education, and a really good job that is supporting us while we dump money into loans, and I enjoy working. If we work extremely hard and save and pay most of the debt off. . . will I even want children in 10 years? I am leaning toward "No." The beginning of our marriage is going to be both of us working two jobs or a job and a half. We will finally have time with each other once these debts are under control. . . I don't think I will want a child when we finally have time together.
I am just so unsure. 10 years is such a long ways away from now and there is no way to know what either of us is going to want at that time. The only reason why I do not have a definite "No" is because I have heard of many women who are in their 30s and suddenly decide they want to have a baby. I can't imagine myself being this way. . . but I just don't know.
I have never seen myself as a mother. . . I hardly ever played with baby-dolls as a child. I currently don't like children (not even my own nieces most of the time). I refuse to babysit or even volunteer to help with children at church. My mom was like this too. . . but had two children. I often find with children that I don't have that "Mother's Instinct" that tells me what to do and that makes me severely uncomfortable.
Is there anyone else out there who felt this way and eventually had children? What were your reasons? Did you have children when you were older? Did your husband or partner change his mind?
Thanks in advance.
kjschro 22-25 1 Response 0 Aug 11, 2011