Why Was I Born.

I find myself asking this over the years of my life.Why happiness eludes me,is there a greater purpose for a lifetime of suffering?You could always say well someone has it worse or at least you have your health,these are not Consolation prizes.There is always someone who has it worse but that changes nothing in your situation,and yes i have my health WHY so i can endure suffering longer.I have always given of myself to help others.always try to help anyone who needs help,or even those who don't but is done out of friendship or love.Be honest,polite kind to strangers go out of my way to do whatever i could for anyone.when i was 5 months old i began to get hit by my father (according to my mother) after a year and 1/2 she got rid of him i saw him for 1 hour when i was 12 ,he gave me a 20 $ bill and was gone for good.Mom hit me most days since then till i was 16 i was called every name in English and Spanish you can think of,i was thrown on the street with nothing after my mom stole my 6000$ i earned delivering papers and cutting grass since i was 11.i lived on the street and went to school with only 1 set of clothe till i couldn't stand the humiliation any longer,then i got sick and a friends mom let me stay for a while till i was better but there dad found out and when i didnt show up to talk to him about it one night he died of a stroke i blamed myself for 20 years for that,i was starving so i enlisted in the navy but had to wait to leave and i got caught stealing cheese to eat and the navy booted me out before i ever left,found a job working under the table till i had enough to get a place to live and got a real job.while i was there i became friends with the new guy who left sick one night from work ,but he was not sick,he stole my keys from my locker and stole my car and money from my studio apt,he never got caught by police for that i lost my job due to no way to work and ended up on the street again,my brother took pity on me and let me stay with him and his wife till i got on my feet again found a gas station job i walked 10 miles to everyday in the winter saving money,one day i got there and was arrested for breaking and entering according to the owner who said they saw me going out their window it was the other gas attendant but i was arrested and even though the mix up was cleared up i was still fired(bad rep for them ) they said.a few years later i got married and had 2 kids i loved FINALLY i thought i found happiness i came home to find our small house empty and a note saying she found someone else and she poisoned the kids against me with lies i didn't see my 7 and 8 year old sons for 15 years and on and on and on i am 49 now and these stories continue i don't drink i don't do drugs or steal or any other bad thing.i always try to do what Jesus and the good book said and the laws of the land someone will say someday you will get what you deserve for a good life when!!!! the day before i die? I still try to help and all the other good things but i feel like job from the bible why was i targeted why was i born?
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Dec 2, 2012