I Just Cant Get Away From It All.

I moved thousands of miles away and it feels like I cant get away from everyone who turned their backs on me. Ive been abused for as long as I can remember and all by family memebers. Ive searched for help in those who you d think would be the main people in my life I could turn to, my parents and siblings. But never got from them what I was looking for or needed. So at a very young age I thought either I deserved what was being done to me, this was normal or I just wasn t worth helping. This kept on for years some thought I actually wanted to know about their sexual encounters besides what they were doing to me. Others letting me know what men do to cheat on their wives and how they get away with it and even their twisted fantasies. So this all kinda set me back into myself shutting me down when it came to men I tried acting like a normal person should the happy, kind fun person but my face always gave me away on how I was feeling it even shut me down sexually.

When I was finally old enough to fend for myself and leave home I took the first chance that I could. But still live with all this in my head and no way out I definately moved milies and miles away from these people that hurt me. But my closest family just wont let me get away. My familu sucks but their my family I love them my mother and father brought me into this world and my sibling arent at fault for what happened to me. But i just dont get why these people that did harm to seem to mean more than my well being. Should I just let go of my family as well? To try and forget or atleast act like none of it ever happened? I don t know what to do...
g3nuin3nhop3ful g3nuin3nhop3ful
26-30, F
Sep 7, 2012