It Makes Me Seem Weak

I don't cry in front of other people, not even friends. I mean, I cry sometimes at the movies, but it's another matter: it doesn't count. When tears of anger or sadness come to my eyes, I have to be by myself. I  cry in my flat, where I live by myself, till I find it hard to breath. Then, I wash my face with cold water and put on my makeup as if nothing happened. I don't want to look weak, desperate, hopeless. It was hard for me to build the outer image I now have, and work hard to keep it up. Tears aren't part of the plan.

PurpleQueen PurpleQueen
36-40, F
1 Response Mar 26, 2009

I know how you feel. I made the mistake recently of showing my emotion through crying in front of my best friend who unfortunately I am also in love with and he is not in love with me and he threw a fit about how he told me he didn't want a relationship and left. which of course made it worse. So i cry alone. And even then i try not to cry. what's the point.