Why Should I?

I'm not a liar or a backstabber, so I chose not to tolerate them in my life

GoddessNakiBean GoddessNakiBean
36-40, F
4 Responses Feb 9, 2009

From what I've seen the only person who is the most affected is the person doing the blaming. <br />
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Duana... Thank you for your comment! *hugs*<br />
bakerchick... *hugs*

Child abuse is something VERY different. Children can't judge if what is going on is wrong... especially if it is coming from a parent or close relative.<br />
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This was something that I had to learn... though I don't fully believe in BLAME either. What good is blame going to do in the aftermath of a rape or abuse. Being that I was raped and abused by the same man, I do know I was one who blamed myself and it wasn't until I decided to work through it that I got better. What would blaming him do... it surely wouldn't help me grow and move forward.<br />
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As a "victim" I agree that I was taken advantage of; but as a "warrior" I know it was MY decision to trust him and go with him even though he was acting VERY Unstable and irrational. I had put MYSELF in harms way. I wasn't so young that I couldn't stop and see some of the terrible outcomes. <br />
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A person always has a choice... even if the choice is made after the event. I made my choice long ago to be stronger BECAUSE of what happened and to help others avoid getting to the position I was in or people who are in the position I ended up in... not weakened by deciding to blame others.

I don't agree with fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. So does that mean children who have been tricked into sexual abuse more than once are at fault? That statement is only true if you agree with it and luckily I don't because inherent in it is judgment of the victim and toleration for the abuser. People who manipulate and hurt others (backstabbers and liars) are ALWAYS liable for their behavior and victims no matter what the circumstance they have been taken advantage of in are NEVER at fault. The blame falls SQUARELY on the shoulders of the wrong doer.

I fully believe in the saying "Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me" I give the person the benefit of the doubt once and talk to them about it... after that I have to walk away.