Brain Damaged And Heart Shattered...

I fell in love with a girl freshman year but didn't know her to well i didn't know why but i fell in love with her, everyone thinks she's hot and all that but it wasn't that it was just something about her which made me want to be with her; not even in the sexual tense just to be there for her and love her. Well eventually we got really close and started dating but now i really don't know what to do i feel lost in my own head most of the time. She was proposed to by her ex who she started hanging out with and everything in my head says that she accepted but my heart keeps telling me that what she is saying is true and to believe her... it seems like a constant struggle inside myself. I want to believe her but my head won't let me and my heart willingly accepts her words; most of the time anymore i just don't know how to feel about anything... it just seems like she wants to be with him more than me in my head but my heart doesn't see it that way it sees my love and that she wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Always when i get close to someone they leave me in some way wether it be death, moving, or just never talking to me again... If this all falls apart i will probably just never let myself get close to anyone again and then that will solve my problems right?

Maybe one day i can feel normal again, but my brain never seems to tell me that i will.

UsedAndAlone UsedAndAlone
18-21, M
Feb 27, 2010