I Do Not Understand My Family

I dated a black man for three years. My father told me he didn't want "black culture" in his family. Then I dated another black man and have been with him about four years. My father called me the N-word during that time. Lately, we were going to see my granny for Thanksgiving, but my dad instilled so much fear in her that she called it off. My parents have both told me that they will not come to our wedding or see our children. I'm even thinking of spamming their emails.