I Didn't Need You To Punish Me For My Childhood Thanks

I was sexually abused in my childhood, I don't understand why my so-called friends had to abuse me further.
whatever mistakes I made it was when I was only in my years between 5-9. I didn't know back then the things I know now
I was only a little girl, being abused. I may have copied some of the things the abuser did to me on other kids out of confusion, and thinking it was a game like I was told it was by him, by them...how could I have known any better.

I don't see why people should punish me all my life over the wrongs that were done to me- an innocent child knows no better but to do as she is told by her olders. she does it without question, and in fear.

we learn by copying and by association. i didn't kill anyone. I didn't rape and torture. I may have played "doctors and nurses" games like the abusers did to me- why wasn't someone helping me? why didn't someone care about my little body?
I didn't know any better. I didn't have the same preditory pre-meditation an adult does or a ********* does. it was mostly innocent copying and innocent curiosity.

I am sorry world- for the mistakes my little child of 5-9 or 8 did. but it wasn't that bad if you weight it up with other things a criminal mind does and certainly once I did understand it wasn't maybe quite right I stopped doing it.

I can't explain why it took me so long to talk about all the abuse stuff- I tried as a kid but no one listened and helped me. i blocked it out with all the pain of the lies from neighbors and petty games from them, in-laws and everyone else who wanted to put in their two cents worth. I wish someone had of cared. I wish the people I was around back then had not been so self obsessed, and that they had helped me get away from my great uncle and the other older kids, who were hurting me
czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
36-40, F
Aug 9, 2010