Don't Want To Go To Jail....but I Know Why People Hurt Their Partners

I am 20 years into this 5th marrage....and I am at my wits end again. I just want to hurt my husband so that he will listen instead of just wistling or humming when I am mad at him, or worse yelling and saying: "I don't care"..."I don't give a f..k..." etc etc. Just this past weekend we had to clean out our vacation home because the last time he went there with his friends six weeks ago he unplugged the fridge by accident (I hope) and $600 worth of meat and food was spoiled, millions of flies in the house and the odor won't go away! We had to spend 4 days cleaning it up. This is only ONE of the many, many continuous issues that come up with him. He got into a car accident and ran away from the scene, he has friends over EVERY day, drinking and laughing it up. He left the Sunpass in the rental car, he speeds all the time, and drives drunk, despite every warning.
I am sick of him, everything he does is annoying and gross, he even blows his nose in his T-shirts, and lets his dogs pee on his clothes which he leaves on the floor. We don't talk, and I hide in my bedroom day after day, hoping I won't see him. Just today he wanted to meet me for lunch, and I waited at the restaurant for an hour, no phone call, and he didn't show up, wouldn't answer his cell, then called just now saying he was busy and yelled at ME!!!
I want a divorce but we are so entangled in property, huge bills, and NO cash on hand. How can I live with him a minute longer.....I just want to hurt him, hit him in the head with a brick, break his arm, punch him in the nose....something, but he threatens me with JAIL.
HELP...before something serious happens and I'll get 30 years.
He has no children, but I have three grown ones, and they all HATE him, but don't want to do anything, after five marriages, they say it's probably me.
miserylovescompany2 miserylovescompany2
61-65
2 Responses May 23, 2012

Stay focused!<br />
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At this point what do you to happen? Him improving? Are u ready to quit? What do you want?<br />
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Write your answer down somewhere, contemplate your actions...then work to manifest them.<br />
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Stay mentally upbeat....its important to not wear yourself down or him wearing u down....this too will pass.<br />
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But it's up to u to decide which way u want to go and soon.

MLC2...i feel your PAIN!<br />
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I think he is doing this to BREAK your spirits. I remember watching a movie called TAMING THE SHREW, and can't remember if the person was set on taming, containing or oppressing Elizabth Taylor's character or not.<br />
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But I do believe in the back of my mind, that some men are cut out to try and sabatoge our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual side so they can OPPRESS us and KEEP us from reaching our TOTAL happiness.<br />
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Do not keep entertaining the thoughts of killing him, because it may COME TRUE. I have read that there is an increase of women prisoners in jail due to DOMESTIC VIOLENCE that could have been avoided by simply.....DIVORCING THE creep!<br />
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I am now swallowing my OWN MEDICINE and doing just that!<br />
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taking my own medicine & divorcing the CREEP.<br />
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YOLO,

Kinda weird yea, when I am a highly educated woman from a rich old family married to a man who cannot read or write and grew up in extreme poverty AND who is abusing me mentally, spiritually and physically. I'm so very tired and worn out.