Significant Other Pulled Over After Drinking

My partner was pulled over about a week ago after being out drinking with a friend. They are convinced that their life is over and that they are going to lose everything. This is their first offense and they have not even been charged with either a DUI or DWI yet. It has impacted their functioning at work and they have been inconsolable. At first, I was happy because they said they were going to give up drinking. Then, they informed me earlier in the week that they were considering ending their life peacefully. It threw me into a panic and I have no solutions that I can present. I graduate college in May and the plan was for me to move where they live an hour away from me where there might be more job opportunities for me. Now, there's a lot of things up in the air. I don't know how to make them unsuicidal. I'm doing my own therapy and recovery, and don't have a ton of emotional and physical resources right now to help them through it. I have talked to my therapist about the extreme amount of guilt I feel about not being able to help. I also feel a strong amount of guilt and shame for not telling them to stay where they were when they called me saying they couldn't find their car. They assured me that they hadn't had that much to drink and that they would be fine to drive home. I was two and a half hours away visiting family at the time and had to work the next day. In retrospect, I could have potentially driven there, but would not have been functional for work the next day at 8 a.m. It had been 11 p.m. already the time they called me looking for their car. After spending a rattling night in jail and meeting with a lawyer, there are a lot of things that sound unlikely of happening. Still, they are terrified of losing their job and apartment, along with everything else that MIGHT happen. I have spent the past week almost here and have been living out of a suitcase practically for the past 3 weeks because of the holidays. I just want to help, but I don't know how to. They assured me that if they were still feeling suicidal they will get professional help. Still, I don't know how to keep myself and them together right now, and am very scared. I tried assuring them the there are people out there who have gone to jail for much worse things that have managed to go back to school and get their lives on track. I've read a lot of encouraging and heart-breaking stories about people in this same position who have made a mistake and are dealing with the consequences as well as motivating people to keep going in their own lives. Any advice or support would be much appreciated.
gr3mm1gr3m gr3mm1gr3m
1 Response Jan 10, 2013

In South Africa, this is not even worthy of a worry. Sure we have +1200 deaths over the summer holiday, but DUI is nothing that can't be bought out of.<br />
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As long as you didn't kill or seriously injure anyone, get over it.