My Sacrifice. My Ultimate FantasyGrowing up I've had suicidal tendencies and I've attempted suicide twice when I was a kid.
I have often fantasized about being the main course on a cannibal's menu. In one of my most profound fantasies’ I’m invited to a top secret cannibalistic BBQ by a cult leader. He knows that I've been suicidal in the past and exploits my suicidal desire and here is how it plays out. I’ve met the guy online at a teen suicide support group. His name is Jim and we’ve been having private chat-sessions for weeks. In our chats he’s very kind and understanding and has won my complete trust. He feeds into my despair and my desperate need to end my suffering. He convinces me that he loves me and that he desperately wants my suffering to end. Finally he convinces me to allow him the honor to help end my life and after much discussion I agree to submit to the bizarre method that he has proposed.
In my fantasy I accompany Jim to a BBQ picnic with a group of people that he is associated with although I will not be a regular guest though... I'd be one of two guests of honor at this special gathering. I have been invited to be part of the main course meal and I’ve agreed to allow myself to be sacrificed in a cannibalistic ritual then dressed out, barbecued on a spit and then consumed by the guests. Jim assured me that my death would be quick and totally painless and I’d be the center of attention until the very last bite.
In my fantasy I’ve accepted his offer and agree to accompany him to the gathering. On the day of my death Jim picks me up at my apartment early in the morning. He’s accompanied by a very pretty but chubby teenage girl with long silky dark brown hair and freckles. Jim introduced her to me as Mary and that she will be the second guest of honor at the evening event. (which is in a town about 80 miles out into the country). As we drove, Jim talked about this annual event as if it were just some kind of festive family reunion or something. How it’s a very nice gathering of great people from all over the country and even some guests from Canada and Mexico. During the ride Jim handed Mary and I a picnic supper menu showing all the food and drinks that will be served. On the menu next to the main courses were pictures of Mary and I. Our faces are next to the words PRIME RIB, TENDERLOIN, baby back ribs, and ground steak. Our faces are photo-shopped on cartoon bodies being barbecued on spits! After seeing that menu and knowing the reality that we were the actual main courses Mary & I both become anxious and excited. We both began asking all kinds of questions about the ritual and how our bodies would be prepared after we’ve been killed. Jim (matter of fact)-ly explained in graphic detail how our bodies would be prepared for the meal.... and that chefs would be serving us up like prime rib to each guest’s preference. Just hearing this man talking about our mortality like that even began to have a tingling exciting and even a sexual effect on me!
At around noon we finally pulled in to the ranch and drove down a dirt road. I could see large balloons in the sky and what looked like a field full of parked cars. As we approached the staging area we could see a large crowd of people. Teenagers playing volleyball, little kids running and playing and many other people standing around talking with beer bottles and plastic cups in their hands having a great time. Mary and I looked at each other just as it began to sink in that we would both be dead very soon. I was terrified but excited at the same time. As the car pulled up to a cluster of large tents Jim announced “Here we are”... As we got out of the car we were greeted by another man who introduced himself as Alex and that he would be giving us a tour of the facility. As we walked towards the first tent Jim disclosed to us that Alex was head chef who would have the honor of preparing our bodies for the evening meal.
When we entered the first tent there were two large kettles with boiling water, A long Table with freshly cut vegetables and garnishes and several large freezers running on generator power. There were also what appeared to be several large trash barrels labeled unusable body parts. Alex explained that this is where our bodies would be gutted and prepared. Then after our bodies are dressed out they’ll be taken to the barbecue pit and spit cooked over an open fire. Then after our bodies have been cooked to perfection they’d be brought back to the prep tent to be dismembered and sectioned out for the serving lines. Alex further explained that Mary and I would each have our own line with our own memorial pictures attached to the end of our serving lines.
Immediately following the tour Jim brought us to another tent where we were introduced to Ernie as the man in charge of preparing us for the sacrifice. Ernie put his hands out to both Mary and I and led us to two large tables with leather wrist and ankle straps attached. He had both of us lie face down on the tables and then fastened our restraints explaining that this was for our own good and it would help us accept our fate even if we begin having second thoughts. Ernie told us that we have done very well to this point and he wouldn’t want us to do something that we would regret in a moment of panic. Mary spoke up and in a very giddy voice assured Ernie that she never felt more alive in her entire life.
While we were lying secured tightly to the tables Jim appeared with a large pair of shears. Ernie began by cutting Mary’s clothes off her body and discarding them in a large trash barrel. After she was completely nude Jim moved to my table and proceeded to cut all of my clothes away as well. Ernie then hung a large red enema bladder from a hook a few feet above the table and inserted the enema syringe into her anus and tilted the table forward at a 45 degree angle. As soon as he opened the water valve allowing the liquid to flood her bowels he explained to us that our intestines will be boiled and stir fried as part of the meal and this initial cleansing will help with that preparation. He said that we will each get several enemas until the water runs out clear and then the last fill will be with a peanut oil and minced herb solution and plug our anus with large butt plugs. As soon as Mary’s syringe was inserted, Ernie inserted an enema syringe into my anus as well then he tilted my table forward. I immediately felt an immediate rush of warm liquid filling my intestines. After several uncomfortable minutes Ernie and Jim tilted our tables up to a standing position and allowed us to drain the contents of our intestines into large hoses attached to a tank. Ernie repeated this process several times on each of us and then filled us with the peanut oil just as he explained.
As soon as our intestines were prepped and our anus’ plugged we were let off the tables and led into a large shower stall built from cinderblocks and plywood partitions. Again, there were leather restraints attached to chains hanging from the ceiling. Ernie then put the restraints on our wrists and then began the cleaning process. Just like every other process Ernie began with Mary. He started by running warm water over her head and shampooed her long hair. He was very gentile with her giving her a sensual scalp massage during her shampoo then gently washed her beautiful chubby body. Afterwards Ernie gave me the same sensual shampoo and body wash,
Following our cleaning the men gently dried us off we were again released from our restraints and were put in to downy white soft robes and led into an RV parked inside the tent. Inside the RV were two salon and makeup stations where there were two young women. Jim introduced them to Mary and I as Gwen and Debbie and they will be doing our hair and makeup for our memorial pictures.
Jim and Ernie led Mary and I to our salon chairs and once again restrained our wrists and feet to our chairs. Gwen was doing Mary’s hair and makeup and Debbie was doing mine. Just as the blow dryers came to life the music outside was interrupted by an announcement. The DJ announced the following “ The memorial sacrifice of TJ and Mary will begin at 4PM and that the guests should all be seated in the big tent at exactly 4PM That is one hour from now folks!!!
Just as that announcement had finished I realized that our time was growing very short. I was willingly being prepared for slaughter and becoming more terrified, but extremely excited by the second. I had an awful twinge in the pit of my stomach and I couldn’t tell if it was just pure nervousness or if it was the peanut oil solution flooding my intestines or if it was the excitement of knowing that I am actually about to become part of a full course meal for about 100 people!
About 30 minutes later Gwen and Debbie finished blow drying and curling our hair and began applying our makeup. As we sat there Debbie and Gwen started talking to us and to each other just like we were all great friends. Debbie told Gwen that her husband wasn’t able to make the reunion so she promised to take him a couple of TJ and Mary “doggie bags” for his lunches next week. With that I could hear little nervous whimpers coming from Mary. Debbie said that she is absolutely starving and is hoping that there will be enough leftovers to bring home some food as well. Just as the two women finished with us, Debbie picked up a radio and told the person on the other end to send in the photographer now and to hurry because it’s almost 4 o’clock! With that Mary let out a long guttural moan. I nervously asked her if she is okay. She just replied NO! I’m scared! Just then Jim entered with the photographer. Mary and I were turned in our chairs facing towards the photographer’s tripod mounted digital camera. The photographer told both of us that we were both beautiful and that these will be our memorial photos so please smile pretty. I could see Mary in the mirror in front of us. She looked angelic when her pictures were taken so I smiled as if this were the happiest day of my life.
Just as the last photo was taken as if on cue the loud speaker outside came to life again. The DJ announced that the sacrifice will commence momentarily. Just then the festive music was replace by somber organ music. I knew our time was up. Just then I realized that I have no idea how our lives would be ended. Jim said that it would be painless but now I have a real fear of the unknown.
Jim and Ernie quickly returned to the RV then Jim announced “It’s show time”! And with that the men unstrapped our restraints and removed our robes to reveal our naked bodies. Jim put us both in leather wrist restraints with our hands bound behind our backs. I asked Jim how it’s going to happen and Jim said to be patient it will be reveled in just a few seconds.
As the men led us into the tent I felt my knees become weak and my head began to spin. I was absolutely terrified! The entire crowed stood up and began to clap! I could see an alter at the front of the tent and the instrument of death. It was a guillotine! in front to the Guillotine was a large mirror on a stand with two white mini caskets about (the size of large hat boxes) on a table behind the mirror. In front of each casket were our memorial pictures. It was a beautiful setup. Ernie led Mary and I up onto the alter and had us kneel on a padded kneeler facing the crowd. Jim then knelt in front of us both and whispered to us how this was going to happen. He said that during the ritual that when one of us is called to sacrifice....”You will kneel at the guillotine and place your head through the blade block. I will hold your beautiful hair above your scalp so as soon as the blade drops and your head is severed I’ll will hold it in front of the mirror so that you can witness your own sacrifice for about 20 seconds until your beautiful heads die. As soon as I see your eyes glaze I’ll place it inside the casket and your body will be taken to the kitchen and prepared for the meal.
With that Jim stood up and addressed the crowed. He introduced Mary and I as the guests of honor and that we will be the main course at tonight barbecue banquet. The crowd stood up and erupted in applause. Jim then proceeded to tell the crowd that it was time for the raffle! Just then the crowd went wild with applause and cheers! I couldn’t figure it out but at that point I was terrified beyond all rational thought. I looked over at Mary kneeling next to me and she was staring straight ahead as if in some kind of trance.
Jim called out the first raffle number 099! An older man with a white straggly beard and wearing a ball cap... appearing to be in his late 50’s or early 60s jumped hooting and waiving his ticket just like he won a million bucks. The man made his way down to the alter and Jim asked him which of these two lovely heads would he like to take home tonight!!! The old man pointed directly at me then stood behind me and stroked my head!!! OMG I thought to myself! Our heads are being raffled off to the luckiest perverts! Just then out of the corner of my eye I saw Mary slump over. The crowd roared! Ernie jumped up onto the alter and brought Mary around with a whiff of smelling salts then steadied her on the kneeler.
Okay ladies and gentlemen! The next winner gets to take home Mary’s beautiful head. Just look at that head of gorgeous silky brown hair and those beautiful full lips! This head will give some lucky man hours and hours of pleasure! Just as he said that he called out the number 012. With that a massive bald black man stood up and made his way to the alter. He stood behind Mary taking Ernie’s place behind Mary and started stroking her hair too.
At this point I’m completely numb. I know that I will be dead soon and I hoped that I would be first. As Jim began to speak he faced Mary and I. He thanked us for our sacrifice and our contributions to this year’s banquet barbecue. Jim then asked Mary to stand up. She didn’t move. Jim then asked Henry to help her over to the Guillotine. Within seconds Mary was kneeling with her head in the blade block. From where I was still kneeling I could see everything that was going on in the mirror in front of the guillotine Jim stood at Mary’s head and gently pulled her long hair through the block towards him and held it in a ponytail on top of her head. This is so the blade won’t cut the hair when her head is severed and also it gives Jim a handle to hold up the head with. Jim then pulled on the ponytail slightly and then asked Mary if she’s ready. Mary just let out a long sob. At that Jim nodded at Henry who all of the sudden through the release switch.
I could see the blade drop and Jim quickly stood up holding Mary’s beautiful head in front of the mirror. I could hear Jim talking to Mary as he handed her beautiful head to Henry. Henry held her in front of the mirror allowing the blood to drain from her neck. As Jim and Henry placed Mary’s head inside the casket two men wheeled a gurney onto the alter and placed Mary’s twitching body on it and wheeled it away. Henry then took the casket off stage and headed straight to the men’s room. Jim yelled after Henry... “Damn man! Can’t you at least wait till you get home?”" Henry yelled back at Jim (just before the bathroom door closed) “If I wait till then all the warmth will be gone!” The crowed roared with laughter! Just then Jim called me! TJ Please take your place at the alter. With that I obediently stood up. I went to the guillotine and placed my head over the blade block. Jim gently pulled my long blonde curls on top of my head and whispered to me “Are you ready”????
As soon as he asked the question I said yes and then I heard the blade drop. Immediately I saw the image of Jim in that mirror holding my severed head. Then I saw the old pervert take my head from Jim. I could hear Jim telling me that my body was now being taken to the kitchen to be prepared for the meal. The old man must have turned my head towards my body because I could see it being wheeled off stage on a gurney. As the lights grew dim the last think I heard the old man saying was that he is going to take me to the restroom to check on Henry and Mary.