Especially My Cell Phone

Okay people. A rant on the subject of phones: Just because I have a cell phone doesn't mean you can reach me anywhere, anytime. I own a cell phone for my convenience. Not yours. Amazingly, I am not sitting around keeping my plate clear so that we can chat whenever you get the notion to call. I have a life. I occasionally go into cars, bathrooms, tunnels, the dentists, job interviews, deep personal conversations, great drunken debauches and other places I don't want to talk to you. That's why voice mail was invented.

If you get my voicemail, it does not mean I hate you. It means exactly what it says "leave a message and I will call back". That's not "hang up and I will psychically deduce it was you and call back in the next 3 nano-seconds". Calling six times in a row does not magically summon me. However, leaving a message may get me to call back faster. Isn't that amazing? For example the message "hey its me. *click*" will probably get a response from me sometime in the next 24 hours. Ooo! But it gets better! With a detailed message like "hey, its me. i'm outside your front door." you can expect a call from me within minutes! Unless I'm at the dentist then that would be more like 20 minutes. You may want to go get a coffee. Or hey, actually plan ahead and let me know when you'll be in town. (But thats a totally different rant...)

Time of day. Think before you call. If I don't live thousands of miles away from you, you can safely assume it's the same time for me as it is for you. Only I have a baby, a 9-to-5 job, and this weird desire to sleep regular hours. If you ring me and get my voicemail at midnight or later, "leave me a message and I will call back" actually means I hate you. And when I call you back you will get an earful. Maybe I'll just hold the crying baby up to the receiver.

*deep breath* Okay! This has been a Public Service Announcement on Outgoing Phone Call Etiquette. Thank you!

ohsovery ohsovery
26-30, F
5 Responses May 2, 2008

Very funny.... My friends sometimes call me six times in a row and when I finally pick up they rant and claim its an emergency.. I reply with CALL 911 and hang up

Brilliant, I have to agree as well. I too am not married to my phone.

Wish I could make this my voicemail greeting! lol

Haha, yeah I just love that. Oh or calling my husband's cell and asking him if I'm around. That's grrrreat!

LOVE IT!!! Great post! I hate when someone calls my home phone, I don't answer then they call my cell, I don't answer. Then they go back and forth. Good God, are you on fire or something? Is it really that urgent? Maybe I'm in the shower. Perhaps I'm on the toilet. Or having sex. Or maybe, just maybe, I don't feel like talking to you or anyone right now.