No Way, Man!

I don't believe that climate change is man made.  Here are some other things I don't believe.

I don't believe Jesus turned water into wine, I believe he turned it into Tab.

I don't believe Elvis is dead; however his career died long before the hideous Las Vegas white jumpsuit years.

I don't believe that the only absolutes in life are death and taxes. That the idiot behind you in traffic will honk the instant the light turns green is absolutely reliable.

I don't believe that the Beatles actually wrote all their own songs, however, I do believe that they wrote most of Shakespeare's sonnets. 

ElLagarto ElLagarto
56-60, M
18 Responses Jan 23, 2008

Hi Moxie! Happy New Year. Hope '08 is good to you - you deserve it! Thanks for mentioning the El Lagarto cartoons - I know I'm not supposed to play favorites when it comes to my children - but between the poems and the reviews and the cartoons - well, I do have a soft spot for the cartoons. Updated daily!

There's great cartoons at too - take a look at them Our Legarto is a funny guy!

I never got Star Trek. I had friends in college who liked it. The sets were so sad they looked like they were made out of old refrigerator boxes. Shatner is arguably the worst actor ever. And sci-fi is a genre that has never had much appeal for me.

SPOCK now or forever hold your peace...... I do think that he and Captain Kirk, were in search of the Holy Grail, Bones wanted to do DNA on the grail for Tab residue.... Go figure

I thought it was you Grams! Maybe if you carved a nice chair out of ice you could help us all out. -- As for your comment, Shaylon, the word you want is pseudonym, a false name a writer uses to conceal his real identity. And while I can readily understand that Leonard Nimoy would do eveything within his power to conceal his true identity, especially in light of his work after Star Trek, I believe that Leonard Nimoy is his real name. Where does Nimoy stand on the whole turning water into Tab question? Is he a Tab hunter?

Don't know about all the other stuff.... but I will tell you I single handedly am the reason for the Global warming, yes I admit it, Gore the Bore need look no more... I and my curse from Mother Nature herself... AKA ..Hot Flashes

I have to say that I think Leonard Nimoy's special where it was speculated that aliens parted the red sea for Moses and led the Israelites around the dessert in their spaceship is a fascinating theory. Is that a real name or a name that an anonymous author uses? What are those called?

Homey, it was like a beachball floating in, for a minute there it blocked out the sun. It's all for a good cause though, just between us, the book is hilarious.

Why thanks. Yes, subtlety is my middle name. On the mean streets of North Philadelphia, where the crack dealers change colors and fall off the trees as winter trudges ever closer, the pimps and working girls whisper, "There goes El Subtlety Lagarto." -- No you doof, it wasn't planned, Wraither is a call back from last year, he set me up and - well - did you think I was going to walk away? Cha! As if!

Why Wraither, I believe you're talking about Invisible Driving by Alistair McHarg, available worldwide through Those interested in reading 4 chapters for free can saunter, canter, stroll, sashay, strut, or even hop over to It's never too late to keep a promise, or too early have a good idea.

*I'm not that much of a gentleman*

Oh, that's okay. I didn't say anything about drinking anyway, did I? ;D Just wanna sit with my head hovering above some empty beer mugs on a table. And I'm that much of a gentleman, I haven't even checked out your book yet. The one I promised that I would read. I've even forgotten what it was.

Don't drink. No booze - no drugs - 7 years. However, I like to think that having a talk with me over a couple of mugshots would be funny.<br />
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Thank you for the nice words, Wraither, you're a gentleman, I remember you from last year.

You are an interesting man ElLagarto. I think having a talk with you over a couple of beer mugs would be funny.

I also don't believe that Moses parted the Red Sea. I believe he parted his red hair, and several translations later, the whole things got misinterpreted.

I just have one thing to say about this: ALL of Elvis' suits were hideous after he left the t-sirt and slacks stage of wear! :O And I lied! One more point! As to the environmental issues, I've said it once (to Mapleman), I'll say it again!: What we need is MORE HAIRSPRAY, dammit! * ducks and runs from thrown tomatoes!*

Tab was a lot more popular back in his day.

why tab.....why not some better flavored soda