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I Dont Know What To Do......online Chat Cheating, Skyping, Craigs List Personals, Texting, Calls To Girls....

Okay so thats not entirely true.....I know what to do and I know what the world will tell me to do.  Im sharing my story with the public....a group of unbiased strangers that dont know us because I cant share with those close to me until I know myself what to do.  I have to sort things out in my head and get some advice from those unbiased strangers.  If I share with those close to me before Im ready to then I will never get to sort this out in my head alone.  I know that out of love and good intentions they would be talking to me about this.  To make this less wordy I am going to do a history summary here.



- July 08  - we meet - oddly enough in a phone chat room (  super cheesy I know.....I was bored and was like why not......never would have expected to actually meet some guy on there that seemed genuine and sweet.  We talked for hours and the next day and meet up at a public place that nice for conversation and coffee.....looking back.....dumb of me.....Im spontaneous.

- Sept 08 - was seriously considering dumping him.  He was always busy and was frequently breaking plans we had made.  This same month he let me use an extra cell phn he had.  I found old text messages to some girl on there that were done while we were together.  Confronted him and initially he said it was his brother then finally confessed.  I went off and never again.  seriously seriously seriously contemplated breaking up.  Changed my mind.  He swore never again. 

- Nov 08 - move in together.....well he moved in with me.  His lease was up where he was at and was looking for another place.  My idea.

- Dec 08 - didnt spend Christmas together.  he was with his family who didnt know I existed.  Cant believe I acted okay with this.  Reason they didnt know I existed was because he was finalizing a divorce and he didnt want his parents to be concerned about him rushing into things.

- May 09 - discovered he had been making calls to a chat phone thing like where we met.......looooong calls and lots of them.

- July 09 - he admits to the night before our anniversary talking to some chick online.  Learned the day of our 1 yr anniversary that he had been talking to some other chick for weeks with calls and text.  He use to work with her he said and her husband wasnt a nice guy and she needed a friend blah blah blah......this whole long conversations and fight was on our anniversary about this.

- Oct 09 - learned that he has been talking to another girl....confronted him and he swears as usual that its only talking.  He says it will never happen again then actually says no I cant promise you then takes it back WTF...... ( okay I know by now I should have dumped his ***.....I have been married before and can honestly say this is the only person I have truly truly been in love with.  My feelings go deep with him)  He gets angry and says I cant have this conversation every few months.  You dont trust me and Im tired of it.  Makes me seem like Im the person doing something wrong.  If youre wondering how I know he made these calls.....we share a cell phn bill and yeah I explored it and I do so until this day. 

- Jan10 - goes out of state to see his kids - stays in hotel.  I love him and hate to say this....he isnt smart about covering his tracks.....does he realize how easy it was for me to find the email add that showed on our cell bill and track it back to a craigs list personal add for casual encounters and some skanky *** girl he was trying to hook up with while out of state.  If you send a text to an email the email add shows on our bill.  I read her ad and she was detailed in what she wanted....a casual hookup with no strings and did not want to have it with somebody that was attached.  I called her and left vm that he was attached.  Thats all I said and he never brought it up to me.  He was super uneasy when he came home.

- Apr 10 - he discovers chat roulette.  I discover he has been visiting websites like adult friend finder and looking for men and women.  WTF.  I have kept silent after Oct 09 because waiting and seeing.  On what I dont know.  Please dont judge. 

- Jun 10 - he is out of town all month with his kids at his moms house and they are visiting another grandma for a few days so he has some free nights and he has been a busy boy.  Well lets see he said yesterday that he was exhausted and has been sick.  This week he was supposed to be back home with me instead he got a hotel room last night, was texting girls and responding to craigs list personals.  Yeah, I called the hotel room to confirm he was there and his stupid *** answered.  Im getting more frustrated as I type this.  I have to vent and release have to or Im going to breakdown.  We are coming up on our two year anniversary and he is asking me to move out of state with him for some job.  My gut says run my heart says wait and see.  Why cant I turn off my feelings.  I can suck it up and deal with other things and this and him I cant do it.  Its like I would rather deal with the pain and the lies and having him in my life because the pain of losing him would be far worse.  Thats crazy and mixed up because all that is happening is Im feeling the stress and anxiety of this and hes getting away freely and has me in fear of saying anything because of him leaving.
Candycoatinggone Candycoatinggone 36-40 2 Responses Jun 17, 2010

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Dump him! <br />
<br />
If he cheats on you, he doesn't love you. Plain and simple. And you deserve better than that. Don't be with someone who thinks they can get away with cheating on you. It's not fair to you and it encourages his immoral behavior.<br />
<br />
You'll have a lot less heartbreak in the end when you find a real man who really loves you and supports you, then to stick around a man who will NEVER be faithful. He will continue to hurt you and you will miss out on someone really great that will make you happy.<br />
<br />
It'll be hard. But it will get better if you leave him. It won't if you don't.

Believe me that the pain of loosing him will not be far worse after!!!!! <br />
When you learned to love yourself.....you will free. yourself of anything <br />
that is no good for your health - food, PEOPLE, things, SITUATIONS<br />
and everything that drew YOU down and away from YOURSELF<br />
At first YOU will call this attitude a healthy egoism. <br />
UNTIL you REALIZED it is ONLY "LOVE OF ONESELF".