Never Have, Never WillI understand and know that there are many reasons that people will cheat or stray from their committed relationships.
And by no means would I begin to judge those that do, its not my business.
But in my own mind and sense of morale it is not something I am capable of doing.
Not something that I could live with morally speaking.
The guilt and knowledge of the potential hurt that I could cause the other person would literally eat me alive.
Upon entering the dating world I encountered many guys who were cheated on.
And the damage that it had caused was so apparent it broke my heart.
Good men, with big hearts, in so much pain that they cannot see past it.
My own guy that I have been with for the last three months being one of them.
And each time he shares his story, the hurt and pain is so apparent.
My heart just aches.
As I silently listen to him talk and view the pain in his eyes.
We talk often of the the effects our previous broken marriages have had on us.
We talk of our parents and there long standing marriages.
We talk of the people we see in public that are obviously committed.
We talk of the meaning of our vows when we said them.
In our hearts we both still believe in those words.......
BUT the pain of having those words thrown back in our face.
Puts a barrier between us.
One that I understand very well.....
For neither one of us wishes to be hurt in that way again.
So as I listen to his words and hear the pain in his words.
An overwhelming instinct to hold him in my arms and whisper in his ear.
"It's ok to trust me with your heart, let her go and let me in."
I have never cheated on my partners, through all the crap and issues we endured.
I remained loyal. And being in a relationship with someone who has been hurt that way,
I know that I never could.
snowberry75 36-40, F 4 Responses 8 May 7, 2012