It's been months now since i found out that my husband had an affair with one of his co-workers. After 13 years of being together (3 years of being married), i would have never thought that he would have done this to me. We have no children, our first was born too early and lived for only a few days. I was too depressed and neglected my husband. I only wanted to be alone. 6 months later, a nasty wh*re started chasing my husband and eventually started an affair for 2 months. During that time, he was very secretive and distant. He one day said to me "i don't know how i feel about us anymore". I was so confused and heartbroken . I had no choice but to decide what i had to do to move on. Later that night, he met me at a party, brought me my wedding rings and said he was so sorry. Things was great. A few weeks later, i retrieved a voicemail from another woman telling him that she loved him. that shattered my world because i always loved him with all my heart. I drilled him until i got as much information and even went as far as contacting the other woman about everything. They first stuck by their story saying that they were only friends, then little by little, the truth starting coming out. The other woman planted a lot of lies in my head until my husband couldn't take it anymore. He said that he knew he was wrong, tried to break off the affair, but she was very persistant. He told her do not call his cell phone anymore, but she would constantly do it so one day he could be caught. He said being caught was the best thing, because he didn't know how to end this affair. He has always been a good man, my best friend. Even went as far as tattooing my name on his chest when i said i was leaving. We have a beautiful home that we fixed together and do care about each other very much.. What's the problem? Well, i cry every day about this. I'm so upset and i cannot seem to let this go. I verbally abuse him by telling him he's a piece of sh*t, liar, cheater and saying he's not worth it, but i never mean anything i say. I know i'm wrong for doing that, but this experience has taken such a toll on me. I just want my life back, i just want to feel secure and feel that my husband does want me. Even though he tells me every day that i'm the only one from him, i cannot seem to believe it. Every day i contemplate on leaving, but haven't been able to go. When is am i going to get better?