But Im Getting One
I'm sure I'll be harassed for this, but it's true. I was raised in a Christian home, and though I did not marry a Christian, when we were married we were both very much committed to working anything out and never getting a divorce.
Fast forward 3 years and we are separated just waiting for legal help to file. I STILL dont believe divorce should be as prevalent as it is, or that it should be taken lightly, or that marriage should be. I still believe marriage is a commitment you make for a life time. To a certain extent I still feel like Im doing something "wrong" but I know thats because of how I was raised.
That being said, it takes both people to make it such. If one party gives up trying to make a marriage work, the other be as committed as possible, and try as hard as they can, for as long as they can; the end result is that the person trying gets worn down, worn out, used up. Really when you're faced with choices like a lifetime of unhappiness for you and your children, or a divorce and a few years of unhappiness with the possibility of future happiness , which would you choose?
I think people, myself included so Im not being hypocritical, who absolutely dont believe in divorce are very closed minded and judgmental. You have no IDEA what it takes to change your mind until you're going through it. The story below me seems that way. You can never be 1000% sure you know a person and can be with them no matter what. Is there a set amount of time where you think you should automatically know 1000%? Is it 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? My husband and I went through high school together and were together 6 years before we married. If you'd ask me I would have told you that the love of my life would never ever in a million years become an alcoholic and consistently for years choose that vice over his family, to the point that we were poor, uneducated, and in danger of having no place to live because he could always budget in alcohol but not rent. I would have told you that you were insane if you'd told me my husband would tell me he hated me and wanted a divorce because I couldn't "accept" his drinking. Id have had you committed if you'd dare suggest that drinking would change my husband into an uncaring insensitive lazy control freak. I KNEW my husband 1000% when I married him. The sad reality is people change and you cant know how they will change or how you will change. Sure, you can know them 1000% when you get married, but there is no way to know with any certainty what the future holds for either of you.
So there it is. You dont have to agree with me but I just thought some other people might be in the same conundrum that I am, and be more willing to share their stories here if there was another viewpoint.