I Do Not Believe God Can SAVE Anyone.

I was one of those preachers kids that led a very sheltered life. My sister and I were still playing barbies at 14 yrs old, because unlike most girls our age, we weren't allowed to watch very much television. listen to anything but christian radio and to attend an actual movie at a theater was absolutely forbidden. We couldn't play cards, dance unless it was ballet. and one time I was grounded for 3 months simply for reading Jim Morrisons Biography when I was 13 yrs old. My father was a Pentecostal Preacher. We wore dresses every day and we did not cut our hair. We were "Saved".

I still haven't figured out how denying oneself those somewhat generic,  meaningless past times were supposed to bring you closer to God, but I have no doubt, there are plenty of "saved" people that would love to explain it to me. Spare me. I have heard it all.

My Father, whom was a wonderful, generous man who never spoke an unkind word about another person in his life, died in 2003 after a long battle with cancer of the esophagus and my faith in God died right along with him. I am fond of saying, that God and I are no longer on speaking terms.

I watched my father suffer for well over a year. He was subjected to atrocities and torture that I would not wish on my worst enemy. By the time of his death, he felt he had already lost his humanity. He was broken and abandoned. 

He spent his entire life preaching Gods word and promoting Gods will and in his hour of need, where was this so called God??????????????

God, Jesus, heaven.....it is an elaborate fairytale that we have heard for so long that we are convinced that it is the truth.

We all laugh at Scientology and the fools who believe and follow it's doctrine, how is that religion any less credible than the ones the vast majority of the world believes and follows blindly?!

Think about it. Use your brain, not your heart.

Do you believe in fairytales?

 I want to dedicate this song to my father. When he first passed away,
I would often forget and pick up the phone to call him. This song resonates with/through me on so many levels.
It's a beautiful song and I feel like I could have written the lyrics myself, they describe my feelings perfectly.

I hope you will take time and listen to it. 

Thank you.

OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita
41-45, F
44 Responses Jul 14, 2010

Thanks Archi. I appreciate the support. = )

Did you even read the story?? I wasn't complaining about being grounded, I was complaining because your so called "GOD" abandoned my father in his time of need after my father had essentially devoted his entire life to him.<br />
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God was created by people that are incapable of facing their own mortality, it has nothing to do with faith and everything to do with fantasy.<br />
<br />
Suggestion for you, before you leave a comment and confirm your ignorance, read the entire story.

Hey not to rain on your party here but i know God is real and yes being grounded for that long is a bull **** reason but did you ever think of when you were grounded you might of ran into something that could have caused you harm just dont hold on to it forgive and just remember its not a religion its Faith and the true God bless Kevin Kieneker Youtube

Hey not to rain on your party here but i know God is real and yes being grounded for that long is a bull **** reason but did you ever think of when you were grounded you might of ran into something that could have caused you harm just dont hold on to it forgive and just remember its not a religion its Faith and the true God bless Kevin Kieneker Youtube

Thank you, Marji. A friend told me that if I have decided not to speak to God, then I must believe in him...lol...<br />
<br />
I think other kids felt sorry for me, I always had a book to keep me company, because i never had anything to offer when they talked about current movies, tv shows, etc...<br />
<br />
In fact, I was usually grounded for reading books that I was not supposed to....while most kids were hanging out at the mall, I was at the library...NERD ALERT! LOL<br />
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Thanks for reading and commenting, sweet. I appreciate it, Marji. &hearts;


Damn! This becomes more entertaining every time I read it! It's almost like reality TV, except with reality instead of brain-dead scripts. <br />
<br />
I am in the audience chanting "CHI - QUI - TA", like they chant "U - S - A" at the Olympics!


aaaw not so happy, happy

I agree happy, hence over 30,000 protastant branches, 5 Catholic, 2 Islamic, 10 or more Buddhist, 100s of Hindu, 2 Jewish and the list goes on.<br />
I was not aware atheists worshipped anything and none of us wear cloaks, with the possible exception of Stevester ( a bit of Sherlock Holmes in that one)

Hmm, very observant, my friend. Point well made! = )

It just struck me, if this post was written in a xian site all the kindness and support would be attributed to the spirit living within the commentators.<br />
But here is a shining example to anyone who might wish to see, of purely human persons, touching one another on a mental level, reaching out and empathizing with no spirits, gods, will-o-the-wisps, flying handymen or divine stenographers in the picture.<br />
Imagine, kindness, love, support and fraternity, cold this be the marks of atheism?

Myth, Agreed. Thanks for reading and commenting, sug.

Abbeyrhode, Thank you for your warm and generous comment. You are one of my dearest, sweetest friends as well and I cannot imagine a time or a place when I would not love and respect you!<br />
I cherish your friendship and value your opinion very much. <br />
<br />
Thank you for being who you are, my precious, beloved friend.

Your heartbreaking story brought tears to my eyes, and the song just flat out made me cry. I am so sorry for your pain. *Hug*<br />
Your belief, or nonbelief, has nothing to do with the warm, caring person that you are. Anyone who would change their opinion of you for what you believe is no friend, and is no credit to their religion. You are one of my dearest friends, and one of the very best people here, and I will always love and respect you.

I could complain, but all-in-all shouldn't; lots of people in more dire straights. <br />
<br />
Page 3 did explode, didn't it; debris is still raining down here on page 4. Rather amusing really.

I'm ok, thanks for asking, angel. How about you, are you feeling well today?<br />
<br />
There was a comment on page 3 from one of those fire and brimstone peeps, but my friends handled it for me, so I didn't have to. = )

I haven't seen the " you can't prove He doesn't existence" yet. It never REALLY gets going till someone trots out the good old argumentum ad ignorantiam.<br />
<br />
Back to your original purpose for this story, how are you feeling today?

LOL.....well, thank you, just the same!

AAW shucks maam, it twarnt nuttin

Whoa! I wrote a blog titled, "God is a Masochist" when I initially joined EP some time ago and I was ripped to shreds, GF. I hope you are wearing your suit of armor and are prepared for the ensuing battle that will surely occur.<br />
<br />
People don't like it when you use unkind epithets to label their God , particularly, sexually deviant ones. You are officially my hero.

My dearest KMBB:<br />
My wife is the mother of two, my mother is the mother of three, my sister is the mother of one and not one of these women ever had to be asked by their children for food, comfort or aid. Are you saying that mere mortals can perceive the needs of other in a manner that a god can not?<br />
You said you wondered if theses people prayed, read the journals of some of the death camp survivors, they prayed.<br />
You mention that people forget to thank the god when things go good but beg from it when things go wrong, you seem to indicate that this leads to hurt feelings on the part of the god and so it withholds its favors from its suffering children.....really? You would worship a juvinile thing like that?<br />
You have not drawn a picture of a god, you have drawn a picture of any lesser human and called it god, your god is petty, stingy, masochistic, sadistic, murderous, vile, cancoris and inferior to all but the lowest level of slime.<br />
I ask you, in the name of humanity, read your answer one more time, see how you try to defend your god from its absence that is its proof of nonexistance. In your answer you actually try to villify the victims, where is your humanity?

Dear Godfree,<br />
First of all i am sorry that my remarks offended you. really sorry for that. and lets try to finish this in a lighter mood. Below are my remarks on ur Comments.<br />
<br />
I think one part of answer to all of ur questions, you have already given ur self. if a child doesnt ask his father for bread he would not know that his child is hungry.<br />
Well ur most repeated question is "do u think they pray/did they forget to pray". Buddy are You sure they all prayed?<br />
Is it ok that when we are happy we dont even remember God, but wen we are in pain we come to him and if He doesnt answer then we say he is no God he doesnt answer.<br />
Since you quoted Jesus let me give you an example from Bible. King David had illicit relationship with Bathsheba. He ordered his soldiers to put her husband in the forefront so that he could be killed in the war and after getting him killed he married Bathsheba. The first child from that women died despite all the fasting and prayers of David.<br />
So was the child sinner that he died? He was the fruit of a sin and to cleanse David of the sin he committed, He took Davids illicit child back.<br />
David only became conscious of his sin when the prophet Nathan came to him and told him what he had done.<br />
Some times our unconfessed sins, intentional and even unintentional sins make us suffer. <br />
<br />
@Troubleshotter: Do u know properties of natural gas? it is colorless, odourless, tasteless,shapeless in its natural state. but it still exists.<br />
I hope this gives you the answer.

I read your story Chiquita and although I am a Christian I respect your right to believe or not believe as you wish. I think neither one of us will truly know until we are dead and gone which of us is right and there is no point in arguing about it. I started not to comment but I did want to tell you that when I first began reading this I didn't expect it to touch me at the level it did. I am so sorry that you lost your father and that he suffered in the process. If there is anything that I can do for you I am here and like to listen to other people.

Well, I just started reading, and thought "so far, 2 pages of comments and only 1 (fairly) innocuous sermon." I guess there's always going to be 1 to set things off...<br />
<br />
What can I say other than I hope your hurt is bearable again soon; I know it never goes away, life just forces us to ignore it most of the time. I am not looking forward to the worst day of my life, and am saddened that you are looking back on yours. My best wishes, for what they're worth, are with you.<br />
<br />

Thank you, Godfree. I didn't know how to respond, but you handled it perfectly, my friend.

My dear KMBB:<br />
To be honest, you did offend me.<br />
Your jesus said something to the effect of "if a child asked his father for bread what kind of filthy monster would he be if he gave the child a stone" Your answer is tantamont to that stone.<br />
Children by the thousands take thier last breath after starving for weeks, dont you think these children pray? Mothers carry the dead bodies of their children because they cant fathom that they have died, do you not think they prayed?<br />
Wives sit at the bedsides of the spouce they have shared their lives with for 50 or more years, he looks blankly at them through the eyes ravaged by alzheimers, dont you think she prays?<br />
The child born addicted to crack screams day and night from withdrawl, does this suffering continue because the child cant pray?<br />
The football team wins the championship game, because they prayed, they need to teach the crack kid how.<br />
The other team lost the championship game, they prayed as well, god just hated them.<br />
You say gods ways are above our ways yet you seem to know that god has a plan for starving children, aids victims, flood orphans and the like, its just all in gods time.<br />
Tell me, what was gods time in the nazi death camps? 8000000 people died in those camps, did they all forget to pray?<br />
Yes, you offended me

Hi, <br />
I am from Pakistan and new here, just wanted to add my comments. <br />
Prayer always work. There is time for everything with God. He has a plan for everyone who surrenders to Him. He gives what we ask him but on the right time. believe me i have learned this through experience. u just have to leave it on God and tell Him that God now its your problem not mine.<br />
<br />
Ur father i believe he was a true servant of God and he is now in a good place.<br />
My mother is also a preacher and she has her own ministry, but in our case there were not many restrictions, we had a normal childhood but still prayer was an important part of our life, and i think this is why we grew up believing in God.<br />
<br />
I hope my comments did not offend anyone.

Please don't wink at me, not with THOSE eyes! You know I'm helpless after that! Wink, wink.

Luna, <br />
<br />
Thank you for your very kind comment. I intentionally did not bring up the obvious deceit and corruption that permeates the religious community for the simple reason it would only elicit disagreements and misunderstandings, but you make a very valid point.<br />
<br />
Thanks again, sweetness.

By reading your story and DAZ7 comment, it reminds me of a close family changing religion and going through the same thing like you describe here, I also agree with someone else comment SlyCanuck, I feel bad for what happened to your father and understand your distance with God now, I respect everybody's opinions when it comes to religion, I used to go to church as a child 7 days a week, pray when we wake up, breakfast, before we go to school, lunch, dinner, before bed time , and other stuff related to it, all I can say, as we grow up, we start seeing religion the way it shows up this days, a priest raping little kids, the noun and the father having an affair, and of course the $$$$$ its disappointing to see all this and more happening, to the point I don't believe anything anymore, I understand what you are saying here, I think at some point we know good enough what to believe and what not to believe *hugs*

lol...so.....tomorrow, we fight again? I think you just enjoy making up, J. *winks*

Yes. Today.

Are you going to play nice today, Dog? I see your avatar is promoting peace.

Ahhhh....Pentecostals! MEN - permitted just about anything. WOMEN - no make-up, no perfume, no cleavage, no hair cutting, no short sleeves, must wear long skirts, no high heels, just shut up and sit in the back. The haunting aroma of Goodwill and Salvation Army hangs in the air. Ahhh......the good old days! I know of which I speak.

womaninhiding,<br />
<br />
I really appreciate you reading and commenting. I am very grateful to you and to everyone for your responses. <br />
<br />
Thank you for your prayers, They certainly couldn't hurt. = )

Vignette,<br />
<br />
I appreciate that you took the time to read and leave a comment. <br />
<br />
I am sure most people can understand that I am not intentionally trying to alienate people or push them away, but because of my upbringing, there is a nagging fear that I will be judged and misunderstood. Although, I choose to be a non-believer, I am very aware of how that might effect the way I am percieved and it does matter to me. <br />
Leftovers from my upbringing, I suppose...lol..<br />
<br />
Thanks again!

Sweetheart, <br />
<br />
You're not going to lose my friendship! I was just giving you another way to look at it. This is your journey, your life, you must see it through based on how you have interpreted it. I truly believe that. No one has the right to judge anyone here. No one has walked in your shoes. <br />
<br />
I just let you know, how I came to terms with my own anger watching a harsh death. You never know when you exchange interpretations if someone can understand your point of view too. We are all here to learn based on our experiences. If someone finds fault in you for that, so be it! You are only responsible to you!

Let me start by saying I never read the stories in this group as I feel religious debates are useless. I don't harass or throw my beliefs on anyone....but this really spoke to me. Your story is so sad! I am sorry for the loss of your father, but I have to believe that he is in a better place now...and that he didn't die without faith. <br />
As a "recovering pentecostal" your story sounded so familiar. I was told to "do" 10million things but never told the reason why. We "prayed" for others...translation they don't see it our way so they are going to hell. Being sanctified was exhausting and I never truly felt the love of God until I read the word for myself and realized that a relationship is based on love and not works. It took years, but as a non-denominational person I have found so much more than I ever thought possible. I pray that you too will find peace after your disillusionment.

Dearest Shep, <br />
<br />
You know I think the world of you. We have been friends for a long while and have had our share of disappointments and victories. I cannot think of one person on this site that I have more respect and genuine affection for. The words you just left for me in your comment, reminded me of my Dad....lol..it sounded so much like something he might say to me. <br />
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I just haven't been able to accept the fact that he isn't here anymore and I am ...well....angry...that God did not spare him all the pain and anguish he endured towards the end. <br />
<br />
I realize he isn't the only one that has ever suffered, but he was the one I knew first hand and had witnessed his sacrifices, his selflessness throughout my entire life. <br />
<br />
Prayer doesn't always work. We have to stop telling people that it does. <br />
<br />
I'm sorry, Shep. I do not want to lose your friendship, you are very dear to me. I have a great deal of respect and love for you. But it's how I feel and what I believe now.

Here's just a different spin on this situation. Are you sure Dad was waiting to be delivered from his pain? I would think a man that devoted his life to Christ and Christ's works would realize and have seen the terrible human suffering in this world. If we follow in Christ's footsteps.....didn't he suffer greatly at the end of his life too. I bet your Dad right now is enjoying the fruits of his passion! His terrible last year of life is over. What you witnessed was a preacher who never said an unkind thing in his life suffering extraordinarily like the man he was. I can't help but feel he would never want to be the cause of your loss of faith. <br />
<br />
I too watched my special Mom whom I never heard say an unkind word to anyone suffer terribly at the end of her life. Day after day, I would feel, "she doesn't deserve this"! But when it was all over I have been able to come to a different conclusion. Somewhere inside of me, I know, she agreed to her end. I would lighten the terrible mood of those caring and watching her leave us by saying, "I think she signed up for this". Great things come from the sacrifices of great people. It just seems right to me that such a holy man would at the end of his life suffer so greatly like the One he devoted his life too.

Thank you Godfree, I really appreciate your feedback very much.<br />
<br />
I think he was so hurt, so overwhelmed at the end when he realized God was not going to intercede on his behalf that he felt and seemed like a "betrayed" person.<br />
<br />
It was agonizing for every one that was forced to witness it, a man losing his faith as well as his life.<br />
<br />
I still think about him almost daily. He is always with me.<br />
<br />
Thanks so much for your kind words.

We, preachers kids have to stick together...lol..thank you , sweetie, for reading and for commenting. I am waiting for the flood of people to begin fleeing my circle...expecting a lightening bolt to come out of the sky and strike me dead or something. (and they don't want to be standing too close by...lol.)

Your father was a preacher to the end, he may not have known it or endorsed it, but because of his all to human death he preached to you the gospel of freethought.<br />
Thanks to this man we on experiance project now have a the opportunity to enjoy the writinigs of a very talented young lady.