I've never been religious. There has never been a time in my life when I believed that there was a higher power of some sort. It was a nice thought but I couldn't believe it.

Things have changed considerably since then. My beliefs have not changed, but solidified. In November of 2007 the love of my life got sick and died (no one ever figured out what did it). This did not force me into a church or to believe in something "bigger" than myself. Quite the contrary. It forced me to look at things logically and rationally and in my mind there is no possible way for there to be a god. Things that happen in this world ARE random. There is no unseen force meant to protect us and make good things happen. There is no reason for everything. She was an honestly good person. She didn't do anything to deserve the fate she got, unless you count the fact that she loved me. There was no reason behind it.

In reality, the majority of the world is just as miserable as I am, even if most people aren't willing to believe it. If there were a god, how could it allow that to happen. That is not right, let alone justified. I'm not one of those people that believes that all people are good, but some are misguided. I believe that the majority of people are nothing but bastard coated bastards with bastard filling (moment of silence in aww of obscure Scrubs reference) and that we are born inherently evil. About 95% of the people I've met are greedy and selfish beings that are only looking out for themselves. It's not because we were "created" this way, it is merely because it is what the world requires; a prerequisite of sorts. In order to go anywhere in life we have to be soulless bastards willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.

Not all of us are this way, I will be the first to admit it. We all have the urge but not all of us give in to it. She was one of those people, constantly fighting her basic instincts in an attempt to be "good" and she succeeded as far as any of us can. I try to be like that, it's one of my goals but it is a work in progress. She drove me to be good and if there were a god, wouldn't it want to preserve that? Wouldn't "god" want there to be good people? That would make sense, at least a little bit anyways.

In my mind there is not even a .001% chance that there could be a god or some sort of "grand scheme" to the universe. Things are random, the world is cruel and we all are stuck in it. I'm not bashing religion, because in my mind if that's what you need to believe in order to get a good nights sleep then I wish you all the best. It's just not for me.

Now, don't get me wrong, questioning or changing the beliefs of others is not my intent. I am merely stating my own beliefs and if others like them and I maybe make a few people think along the way then that's just a bonus. My whole life I have hated when people come to my door while I'm eating dinner in an attempt to show me the light and force their own beliefs on me (no offense mormons). In my opinion that is completely out of line and I hope that no one interprets my actions in that manner. Everyone has the natural right to believe whatever they want in whatever way they choose (whether other religions like it or not) and no one has any right to force their own beliefs on others.

godsmack666 godsmack666
18-21, M
Feb 13, 2009