No Love

I spent 8k bringing my girfriend out from Wales, soon as she got here she dumped me, I asked a lady out and she said ok, then she brought her friends into work to check me out and I never saw or heard from her again, I never get women approaching me ever, then my work sent me to another site to run it for a while, and all the women there came up and introduced themselves.
Is it too much to ask that women are honest and dont lie and work an angle for themselves?, or is it just me, Im sure that love dosent exist, My nieces and nephews say that love me but thats a different emotion, I dont believe thats love.
No Ive never experienced love, that makes your heart beat faster when the person walks into the room, that nervous anticipation that you are going to see them shortly, these are things that I have read about but never experienced.
People tell me that I just have to keep on looking, and I will find the "right one', I think thats a crock, I believe that there are people who will never have a partner or a wife, and Im one of them.
My best friend told me that "when women get older they dont care so much what guys look like, and you will get a partner then", dosent seem to be working.
Just wanted to get that off my chest
dx2dsquared dx2dsquared
41-45, M
10 Responses May 7, 2011

Disgusting and cruel hearted people give people this sad impression.

Same here

I have experienced the type of love you're talking about but was fooled the whole time into thinking it was mutual by this nasty little ***** who used me to build her self esteem. Since then ive just been a **** 'em and chuck 'em guy. I believe in love i just need convincing that it can go both ways.

Funny I have been thinking similar lately.What if I never find the one for me.How can I cope being single for the rest of my life. It is difficult to imagine & quite scary.Do I want to be an old lady alone no I do not. Maybe keeping hope in my heart is the answer & it may happen who knows.

You say that love does not exist but then go on to describe the feelings it generates. Loving someone and being loved is not something one can force, it either happens or it does not<br />
It sounds as though you may be a bit too intense with women - in your desperation to find a long term partner - which can put them off.<br />
Take a chill pill, play it cool and wait for it to happen

No I just dont care anymore, maybe I was a bit indifferent and that was a problem, but I just got the feeling that women just were not interested in me at all, they never gave that impression anyway

dx - how long did you date the girl from Wales before brining her to NZ? I'm curious about that to get an idea of how much of a relationship you could have built with her before making that big of a decision about her. Have you developed friendships with women before you got into a relationship with them? A lot of happiness depends on how well you get to know the person. So just those few questions for now .. hmmmm...

Well the funny thing was that her family used to live next to my grandma and we would play together when we were little kids, My brother was getting married. and i was bringing some friends to the wedding who had never been to NZ before, so I looked up some sites on nz, found one that I knew the guy who ran it, so I signed his guest book, my ex in wales visited tthe same site, recognised me and we started communicating, we texted and called for about 6 months b4 meeting the first time

Hmmm so you had some childhood history with her and then all those years later. Interesting. So you texted and called for about 6 months before meeting the first time. Then once you met how long did you date?

I think that as women mature, those of us who have any sense come to realise that qualities such as kindness, consideration, a sense of humour and a balanced outlook on life are more important than looks or wealth.<br />
The best relationships start with friendship - someone with similar interests that you can relax and have fun with. Don't give up, hey you aren't dead yet. It will be well worth the wait.<br />
As you have commented, some prefer to be alone and there are advantages, such as being able to pick and choose who you want to spend time with, and the freedom to do whatever you want without feeling you have to consult someone else.<br />
However your life turns out, enjoy every minute of it.

Sorry to hear that you haven't experienced "in Love" love. I think many people never do. I have been fortunate to have experienced being in love with my first husband and being loved back. I wish that had lasted in practice. I know it lasted in our hearts but we were not able to stay together for lots of reasons. Mostly because we were young and dumb and made mstakes that landed us apart for 23 years. Still I kept that memory of when I had a person for years who loved and accepted me for who I am. For five + years we lived in love and in passion and if it never happens again I still know I have had something some people just dream about.

WE live in a society that has let ourselves down in the love and relationship department. We allow ourselves to reflect our own relationships from eccentric romantic films and such. Its a global phenomenon. " why the hell dont i feel love this way" or even if we're in relationships were not satisfied as women that our partners dont serenade and take us away on horse back or that men, their wives dont dress in strawberries and whip cream every night of the week. Those are the extremes but its got elements of truth. <br />
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We're all looking and living in a hyper reality which means our love has to be perfect , therefore our partners must be perfect. WE have the right to a strong sensitive six packed man and you have the right to desire a blonde big boobs, nice smile flight attendant. whatever. But its not real and its not raw. <br />
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Love does not exist in such superficial dynamics, yet we all think it will. (im not saying you do) im just explaining the women and people who have snuffed you, despite knowing you. <br />
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In my purest experiences of love, in any situation, love is something that in reality blossoms from nothing. Love grows from knowing a person profoundly. It grows from what you lack and what they fill and vise versa. Love, true love, not the one you hear of, not the tounge and cheek rada rada rada. But pure unconditional love is so many things. Its unmeritable, unconmditionable, natural, in the best intrest of the person, sacraficial. <br />
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but love shouldn't be something you use to fill yourself but something that overflows from you onto someone else, that you care about. Everybody is looking for someone to complete them. In my opinion its actually ripping each other off. I would like to be a complete person, for someone else not bits and pieces for them to glue together and decipher. <br />
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as for your numbness or unfortunate situation, i think your very lucky to have dodged so many bullets. Those girls wouldnt of made you happy, selfishness and self centered never made love. Just relational transaction. Know what love really is, and desire only to know profound people profoundly and you just might find yourself 'in love'.

You sound like me.. I am also intoxicated by all this happening. Seeing so many of my family member and good friends married fail just scare the hell out of me.. i too believe i am born to be not alone but just not from Singapore.