So You Never Really Loved Me? What Else Is New?Really? Really....he tells me that two years were just a lie, all bullshit. All told for whatever the reasons. He says these things around telling me never to contact him again. No one has ever broken my heart like this one did. He has the gall to ask if I've found myself another. The answer is no. I've found myself people who hang on in the hopes of getting something from me, but no one else to love.
I lesson I learned here was to beware of those who say exactly the right things at exactly the right times. Soul mates do not exist. Love does though...it exists in many forms but none of them make sense to me.
It was a cruel trick, feeding on my weakness the way he did. I tried so hard to hang onto an illusion and even felt guilty for wanting to keep it as he tried to rip it from my hands. He'd say I perpetuate these things, and maybe I do. I seek the worst in people and then feel ... well, miserable when they fail me. I suppose I like the lost, hopeless feeling being left affords me....or whatever. **** it. I'll just go with what he said. He saw through my 'bullshit' (aka love, I thought) but I didn't see through enough of his. My bad I guess.
I'm so not fond of life right now.
Whym 36-40, F 6 Responses 3 Jul 3, 2012