The Grass Is Always Greener

I have been sleeping with a girl for a few months off and on. She comes to my house and shoulder taps me in the middle of the night and we usually have a good time. She started to like me for more than a carnal release.

I was okay with this but uninterested.

Until, I actually started to like her(what? i don't like people!?). I don't like people like this normally. I am crazy, and I know I won't last long in a relationship before I start to freak out. Happens everytime.

But, I started to like her and told her so. She said no way.

Not a problem. I thought later that she save herself and I from hating eachother in the future. Wiped my brow with a sigh of relief with the realization that the situation almost went somewhere I did not want it to go but thought I did.

Now things are different.

We used to be a possie and a crew and since I told her that I was falling into like with her she has been consitantly trying to prove to me that she does not feel the same way. I do not understand why. I did not persue it. She wanted this more than I did and when she got it she did not want it anymore. Sounds a lot like me.

She was the cat that got the mouse. She had no idea what to do with the mouse when she had it.

When she said no way that night I was not only relieved but reinforced in my idea that we humans are inherently selfish and want what we don't have. Myself included. She got what she wanted and did not want it anymore.

This in noway made me angry or upset. I told myself that I was not alone in feeling the same way because I almost always do after a long enough time with someone.

The grass is always greener.

FTW. I love you all.

deadmagicbones deadmagicbones
26-30, M
4 Responses Feb 23, 2010

Hi,<br />
<br />
It seems like this girl is playing games and she is playing with your emotions(and yes guys have these) haha. Whether she would admit to this or not..she is. I firmly believe in treating others as how you would want to be treated however when someone starts to play games....let them have a taste of their own medicine. <br />
<br />
I'm a 22 year old female and I think I know how other women my age act. When we are looking for a guy but arent fully interested we tend to flirt. <br />
<br />
I think you should just stop talking to her and live your life...nothing makes a girl more curious then not knowing what your doing. Watch her come after ya.

Seems there is a balance between not acting like a selfish brat and always be looking for something better or really being honest with yourself if you don't want to be in a relationship.<br />
<br />
I am often afraid of the possible fact that i am just really selfish.<br />
<br />
No one wants to think that they are always unsatisfied. No one really wants to think anything bad about themselves. I don't. <br />
But I think it is wise to be careful and not just be looking for something for looking's sake. We will never stop looking. Right?<br />
<br />
But I know that I am not really able to be in a relationship.<br />
<br />
Does it not seem weird that the idea of not being in one is scary?<br />
Well, "is it scary for you?" is what I should have asked first but, I'll bet it does.<br />
<br />
Is it caused by our culture or our genetics?<br />
I can tell that I have an urge to sleep with as many women as possible and i think I can say that is genetic.<br />
<br />
Im rambling. Sorry.<br />
Anyway stormaewish, don't start to beat yourself down about looking around. It is normal. If you can recognize it and talk about it you are capable of dealing with it. That does not mean you can make it disappear but rather, you can make a decision of <br />
<br />
Is this a problem that I have and have to adjust for in my own thought process (telling yourself when you feel that way that "I just feel this way sometimes") and adjust the way I look at relationships?<br />
<br />
Or, am I not really into the relationship that Im in?<br />
<br />
You don't have to label yourself as cynical. Meh, maybe you are... :)

Thanks aces.

Let her make the next move on you and be yourself. See if her mood or attitude has changed, since you told her you like her. If both of you are okay with that, you are ready for steady relationship, without looking for other women, or guys in her part. To be truely in love, you must first be friends.