The "other" Worlds...

Over the past....hmmm.....3 years i have become more and more aware of the fact that i seek solace in fiction.

now, im not much of a reader. i never have been. i have always found computer games to involve me more in the story and this could well be why i prefer them. from a young age i have found myself content in the worlds that don't exist, those world that are figments of someone else's imagination that fuel my own. but over the passed 3 years or so i have become almost dependent on this escape.

Those world's, story line's, characters and messages all seem to be so much more comfortable to me. is it because i know it's not real? or because i wish it was as it would certainly give my life some meaning that i don't seem to be seeing right now. Over the past 3 years i have watched so more series from start to finish i can't even count them on my own and someone else's hands and feet. an example of how much i have just delved into fiction would be star trek the next generation. (yes, im a bit of a nerdy man :P) i decided to watch them all from start to finished in order. something i had never done before but as i was doing it with so many other programs....i thought "why not?"

seven season, about 20 episode each.......it only took 11 days. over 10 episode a day i sat in front of my computer.......quite content.

and it has been the case for a long time now with many MANY more series consumed. whenever i finish one, i look for the next. scratch that....CRAVE the next. i get worried if i cant find one immediately. so much so that i have the next 4 series im gonna watch all planned to make sure i dont have a gap.

and when im not watching stuff...im playing it. computer games. i love them. they are a great escape and i can take the role of anyone i wish i had the value, characteristics or attributes of. i can be ANYONE! and for some reason....anyone is a good place to be. again, i sit here quite happy and comfortable. but when i have played the same game for about 4 hours and i need a break....if i can t think of what to play next, i feel really awful, purposeless and just retreat to a nap, or to the fridge. im surprised that im not fat lol.

how is it that i feel comfortable with people that do not exist. how come that people in a computer are more accepting of me and my decisions that the real world. yes, they are programmed....but these games are designed for entertainment, an escape on occasion. not a sanctuary.

i need people or plot lines that do not exist, or may exist but in someones mind, to feel comfortable. i can almost feel my testicles want to tear away from me as this is no mentality of a man.

where is "my" world?
NailYnTow NailYnTow
26-30, M
Nov 27, 2012