My Life

I am 57, have been married for 33 yrs now. My wife had knee replacement surgery 5 yrs ago which started a series of medical calamities for her, and other traumas. She has pushed me away intimately and emotionally for 5 yrs now. I have been by her side thru it all, allways putting her first, and me last.

It has all served to make be further isolate myself as the days go by, fully well believing that no woman would want me not even my wife. She didnt correct me, not once, so there fore in my mind i must be right.

I am in a crisis of faith in myself, which has deeply affected me personally and professionally. I literally am at my wits end as for what to do, and how to believe in myself once again. I am a retired United States Air Force Senior NCO, i did not get there by being lazy, or taking the "its not my job attitude". But now i literally have just that attitude and that is just not who i am.

I am American Indian of Choctaw heritage and i know there is a place within each of us where the creator can be found; I also know I am the only one that can heal me because it comes from within. I just dont know how to get there.
txtazman txtazman
51-55, M
Jan 21, 2013