One Man's View, Another's Distaste

I, at one time, went to church. Whether told to as a child, or wanting to as a young adult.
My great-grandfather was a Hellfire and brimstone kinda Babtist preacher. He used to scare me into belief when I heard his sermons as a boy. He was good.
I trusted his knowledge of religion undoubtedly.
As I got into my teens, I stayed with my best friend's family alot. Momma was Catholic. Mexican, born and raised. :-) 4' 10" of dual speaking (in the same sentence) ball of fury and mountain of love and caring.
Every Sunday we were at mass. I wasn't converted, but I did get a different view of religion. Wow! What an eyeopener! I realized like a lead brick falling on my puberty filled brain, that I didn't necessarily trust granddad's knowledge of religion, but his knowledge of the Bible. That got me. I started looking for every religious text I could find. I studied all I could. I respected my great grandfather and needed to know.
In my studies, I found very little about organized anything. I found that each of us are allowed to think freely. I found that God doesn't want prayers in the streets, but instead, in private.

Then I joined the Army. I learned things and saw things that alarmed the hell out of any religious belief I thought I had. There are some things in this world that a caring forgiving God would not let happen.
That checked my faith very quickly. I began wondering and searching for a solid answer, which is not there. Faith and belief are blind. They have nothing solid to hold to.
I still believe in a higher power. But I believe that we choose our own route.
My grandfather (not the great) told me, when I spent time with him, that "To believe in Gods is foolish, but to believe in the Spirit is holy " He was also in the Army... a special forces officer in the Vietnam war. A very intelligent and wise man. Not necessarily wiser than his father-in-law, just wise in a different way. I miss them both and their company and wisdom greatly. May the rest peacefully.
I have been the closet to "Spirit" or God or Allah or whatever you may call the higher power you belive in when I have been alone.

The preacher or priest or cleric at the front of the church is giving his/her rendition and personal understanding of the written by man word out of whichever book they have chosen for their path. I perfer to use the brain I was given to freely think and logically come up with my own decision.

My great-grandfather told me before he died that he had been too strict. He got so caught up in teaching the word that he forgot to live it.
CAnnesdad CAnnesdad
41-45, M
Dec 14, 2012