My dear wife has recently started talking about getting our children christened, I object on many levels.
She was christened and brought up catholic. It was her mothers belief. I was christened, but because my mother didn't attend church regularly between my birth and the birth of my younger brother, the church refused to baptise my brother. So my mother turned her back on churches in general.
I was not raised with religion and believe that it is an out dated concept that belongs in a museum with child labour and slavery.
I have no interest in having my children christened, it is unnecessary. So she says "I'll have to take them to church by themselves then, so I can get them christened" with all the attitude.
I mean, I'd rather spend that time teaching them something useful, like reading or writing or maths or how to ride a bike or swim. You know, stuff that actually matters.
Heellover Heellover
36-40, M
1 Response Mar 17, 2015

Religion can be a fundamental difference in a relationship, be careful how you approach this with your wife. I don't disagree with you , but you are challenging her foundation for how she thinks and sees the world. She's wanting to give your children that same experience and life view. Afterall she's a good person and had that upbringing so why wouldn't you want your kids to have the same experiences? You see the slippery slope? You need to explain this in a way that doesn't attack her beliefs

Maybe.
And maybe I shouldn't have had kids.
But that's what happened, and here I am.

Don't beat yourself up too much, we tend to think we can squash that part of us away. And the younger we are the more niave we are, as we get older we realize it can't and won't go away. We learn to accept ourselves but often the spouse alongside us can't reconcile who we are in side with who we've shared ourselves as all those years. It's not a purposeful deceit, but it's often seen as a betrayal. Some of us get lucky and find spouses that can accept that part of us.

Thank you, friend. X