Not Essential To A Relationship

i think if two people love each other then you don't really need marriage to validate that love or to show your level of commitment. marriage won't make you love the person anymore or make you more committed to the relationship then you all ready are. and plus if the relation ship doesn't work in the end you won't have to spend tons of money getting divorced
bemmie bemmie
18-21, F
2 Responses May 23, 2012

Marriage is nothing more than a means to make a legal statement to church and/or government, that you are together and mutually responsible. Doesn't mean much else beyond taxes and health insurance.<br />
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I do agree about the commitment part. A commitment comes from who and what you are inside and not because a priest or a county clerk says it's so.<br />
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Calling it a marriage makes little difference if you are not committed to each other and are actually there to take care of each other in whatever type of relationship it is. Neither the church nor the state should have a right to say what 'your' relationship is and how it should function.<br />
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That piece of paper saying that you are married will protect you from cheaters or abusers about as good as toilet paper with pretty floral patterns on it.

you took the words right out of my mouth

I definitely agree with you. I already shared my story elsewhere. I was going to marry a man who was apparently madly in love with me, but I was cheated on various times. I discovered it the worst way. I had found on an Italian site, Endoacustica, a mini recorder to record all his conversations without him noticing it. One fine day I decided to get help from a friend of mine he didn't know, who tried to go out with him. He accepted, but all the conversations during the appointment were recorded and I caught him in the act. I can't believe I was going to marry such a mean man. Since that day I've not believed in marriage anymore. Love is something else. It is respect, and respect exists aside from marriage.

love is the key to any relationship

I agree that marriage is not necessary for love or commitment. However, currently, it provides an adequate system and structure to raise a stable family. I am absolutely positive that it isn't the only way to go. If marriage is defined by varying religious communities as a lifetime partnership between a man and a woman, then obviously it does not need meet the needs of all types of romantic and sexual love interests. What about homosexual individuals? Or even polyamorous people? The definition of marriage above does not meet either of their needs. Either we need a new way to define marriage. Or, like you said, it is obsolete.

i couldn't agree more but i'm not sure that it is the foundation for a stable family because there are so many types of family structures out there ( being raised by aunts/uncles, single parents, grandparents, etc...). i think all a person really needs is a loving environment to have a stable atmosphere.

I agree with you. Note though that I never actually said it was the foundation for a stable family. Rather, I said that it does currently "provide an adequate system and structure to raise a stable family." Being a teacher, I have seen the different between children raised in healthy stable homes and those raised by families torn apart or by parents other than their own. Can it work? Absolutely! However, in many cases (far too many in my experience) it does not. This is unfortunate, but often the case.