It Ruins Relatonships.

I certainly don't believe marriage is necessary. Most marriages that I have known of have broken apart. Up to about the '50s people pretty much stayed together forever, despite hating each other. The '60s brought on change. I think the final nail in the proverbial coffin for marriage was the '80s. In the '90s it was divorce divorce divorce. It doesn't help that celebrities get married for a night in a drunken stupor and then annul it 6 hours later. The point of this diatribe was that the institution that marriage once was is no longer socially relevant as an institution. What I mean by that is that most people will still get married, but divorce is so socially acceptable these days that there is nothing stopping someone from just disappearing and serving their partner with papers. People always had problems with each other, but prior to the 90s, really, divorce was taboo. It was like "Did you hear the Johnsons are getting a divorce...Ooooooh". Now it's like "Yeah, we were married for about 24 minutes, but we couldn't agree on what brand of sand to put in the sandbox. Little Delvin will go with Nancy and I will see him every weekend". Like it's no big deal. Obviously this is at least a mild exaggeration. But if people are so irresponsible that they don't understand or care what marriage is SUPPOSED TO mean, why bother getting married in the first place? For the gifts? Additionally, divorce has the potential to destroy lives. "She's getting the car, the house, pretty much all of my money and posessions, and the yacht, but at least I have my cigarette butt collection and my health". Well  there was zero chance of this happening if you hadn't gotten married in the first place. With that said, I MAY marry someday, but I will certainly regret it no matter how well things go. It's not a socially binding contract anymore, but it is a financially binding contract. The hardest place that you can hit someone is in the pocketbook. You usually get hit there right after the initial wide left swift kick in the testicles. Is the second time the charm? No, their aim is still a little off and they catch you right in the bum. Third times the charm, and that's the hardest one to recover from.

TheEvilLeaper TheEvilLeaper
26-30, M
4 Responses Mar 15, 2010

It's a different world than it was when marriage WAS an institution. People have different, skewed values. I am not saying that it's right, but that's the way that it is. People can no longer stay with only one person based on the manner by which society has ruined our collective attention. This leads to a feeling of being trapped. What is worse is that society has made it so easy to escape, even to the point where it is socially acceptable and joke fodder. Does it have to be this way, no, but it is. Why does it ruin relationships? Because it removes the element of control from one's destiny. You are branded with a new role, a spouse. With that role comes expectations, also forced upon you from society and ,to an extent, your significant other. Remove the "forced" part, and you essentially have an arrangement which can be dissolved at any time without the division of assets and, the few that still exist, the prying eyes of onlookers. <br />
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As an aside, if Al and Tipper couldn't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Hmmmm. How you roll is a little hard for me to understand. The group is named: "I Don't Believe Marriage is Necessary," and it obviously isn't in light of the evidence you offer in your story. The story, by the way, is entitled, "It Ruins Relationships." Taken together, one infers you think marriage is an outdated institution with little or no value.<br />
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Yet I also observe in your story a persistent respect for marriage, colored with a certain idealism about what it's "SUPPOSED TO MEAN." That idealism is even more evident in your reply to my comment. You ask, "Why get married at all if you expect it to fail?" That kind of rhetorical question allows you to dismiss pre-nups as merely advanced planning for failure and says you really do value marriage where there's a binding commitment.<br />
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So are you sure it ruins relationships? Just asking.

A pre-nup is the tool of someone who expects failure. It casts a dark shadow over the entire process. Why get married at all if you expect it to fail? That's not how I roll.

And you've never heard of a pre-nup?