Where Did All My Ambition Go?

Let me see... I own... to godaddy.. oh wow 15 domains. Lets see...I have only 1... no 2 dead websites. Where did ambition go to have websites? Where did my ambition go to do anything these days... it all went into nothing.... I do not even care about my working out. I just spent the ******* money... so why do I even bother? Because I spent the money. Now all I do is squat on these domains. Now all I do is be a robot. I used to have such grand dreams.

For instance my web dreams. I wanted to have so many sites. I wanted a programming blog/tutorial site. A site that would give plenty of code snips for college students to steal from. An anime site, that was nothing more than my opinion of anime. Well that and some blogging. A game site... which would be basically the same as my anime site. A webmanga or two... and finally a rant site. Where did all that ambition go? My anime site is out date... I have not touched my programming site in months. Two sites I programmed from the ground up. Now they just sit there and look pretty. They used to be active... now they lie there taking up digital space. What happened to my ambition?

Then there was my change ambition... I guess is what I would call it. It would start out with working out. You know, get looking good for the ladies. I guess that ambition is still there... kind of.. I am starting to take more days off. I think it is just been stress and exhaustion. I am working on it. It is part two that really gets me. The learning how to socialize part. I see what I want to become. However, you know at the same time it scares me. I don't know, when I think about all the failure that is going to come with this... it just makes me want to remain the failure that I am. I don't know... all my ambition has just vanished.

Where did it all go? I pour it into this site... probably because I think I am going to meet some cute girl to **** on a regular basis here. I guess I am just scared of the real world. I can blame it on depression. That si where the desire to die comes from after all. Maybe I do not want to waste more time when I am going to drink myself to death here soon.
ForgottenMale ForgottenMale
26-30, M
4 Responses Aug 8, 2010

Yup I love hugs... probably since I never get any from females in real life >.> However I do like them thanks ~hugs~

... You do? Yey!<br />
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O.O NOOOOO Give me Hugs >.< I love the hugs

Aww, man. That sounds depressing. <br />
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I would offer power hugs, but it seems guys don't appreciate those that much. :P