Nothing Seems to Matter Anymore

I seriously don't care about anything, anymore. I wake up each morning feeling nothing: No anger,excitement,happiness, fear, joy, etc.

Just a blank feeling. If something good or bad happends, i just don't care. Is there something wrong with me?

freshfrika freshfrika
18-21, F
24 Responses Sep 1, 2009

I have/am going through the same thing. I have already helped someone else out of it, thinking that I was free of it. But I wasn't. I know exactly how all of this feels. Every day I would wake up and before I could take each step, I thought "What is the point?" "Why am I doing this?" I thought about suicide, not because of anything or anyone in particular, just because there was no point to life. What would I ever do. We live, we die. That's how I thought about things. I knew it needed to change though. I hated how someone could tell me a funny joke, and I would laugh, but I couldn't feel the happiness that comes with laughter. Something sad would happen, like when my grandmother got cancer, and I didn't even care!!! I hated how that was. The only thing I could feel was darkness, and how it was growing deeper. I just wanted it to change, but I didn't know what to do. I figured out this technique that Made me feel happiness again. I could feel pain, and sadness again! It wasn't all the time though, but when it really mattered, I could feel again. (Technique) Every morning I woke up and told myself why I was here. Sometimes when I couldn't think of anything, I found the stupidest reasons, like; to be someone's partner in a project, or to keep my friends company. After doing that for a few weeks or so, I started coming up with better reasons, like; to help my friends, to give them advice, to teach people (if they needed help with a class or something). I finally realized the ultimate reason for why I am here. Not the only reason, but one of the most important. To be happy!!! Life throws so much crap and bad stuff at you, that the most ultimate thing to do, is to prove that YOU can conquer it! We live, not to do bad, not to play video games (even though it is really fun at times), but to be happy. If you aren't happy in the end, what does it matter? I have dedicated myself to trying to make a difference in people by helping them get through what they are having trouble with. I put others (friends or not) first. If they need help, I help them before I help myself. I try my best to do that. It will make me unhappy sometimes, but that's okay, some pain can be a good reminder. You are never going to get through life without pain, suffering, and hard times. And to be honest, I'm glad! If we were all happy, all the time, nothing would feel real, and there wouldn't be a purpose to life. Think of life as a train. You get on the train. (you are born) Its already set to it's destination. (when you die) You have stops on the ride to let others get off. (When close ones around you die, or when hard times occur) Every train ride has stops that you aren't going to get off at. (We all have struggles) And it might take a while to get to the end, but when you do, do you want to see a light, or darkness? (Do you want to be happy or sad in the end?) Are you just going to get off at the next stop, or are you going to fight to get to the end? (Are you going to give up, or are you going to try your absolute best to see what's at the end?) Its okay to want to get off, and its okay that there are stops, but it's not okay to step out the door, or to want the darkness at the end. (It's okay to want to give up, Its okay that you have struggles, but it's not okay to give up, it's not okay to want to be sad at the end.) We are all at the door, contemplating whether we want to get off or not, But I'm telling you now, don't. I'm right behind you trying to pull you back in, but that is all up to you when it comes down to it. But there IS HOPE!!! Don't give up, keep fighting and prove that you can see the light at the final destination! Everyone has their own reason on why they are alive, (that's what makes it so hard) it's time to find yours. Do you give up when you can't find the prize Easter egg, or do you keep looking? I can't tell you that it will ever fully go away, because at some points, it will feel like it never left, but it can get better.

I feel the same, about 3 years ago my great uncle died the following year 2 years ago my great grandpa died, that same year my ankle snapped in half and I couldn't play any sports. Then last year I ended up tearing my miniscus playing football. I couldn't do anything again. But over that summer I gained over 60lbs and this year I tore it again and can't do anything. All my life I have been overweight and a butterball so I have been made fun of all of my life but around all of this happening my sister was arrested and was sentenced to 5 years to 10 years. Keep in mind that right now I am only 13 and my niece, neffew, and my grandmother that has been diagnosed with so many things it's unreal. And for a while it feels like I have been disconnected from the world and from my emotions. I haven't felt happy in a couple of years and now it's beginning to be hard to think of anything that made me happy. Also about a year ago my girlfriend cheated on me with one of my friends that is a girl. Then about a month later I found out she had been cheating on me for a while with another guy. And a girl I had a lot of feelings towards and that I have dated previously has moved, she is the only person that has made me feel exited and anxious and nervous. So my thoughts are that everything just hit me at once and I withdrew from the world so much that my mom decided to take me to a counselor and we made a list of 20 things that I like about myself but I never came up with anything so my counselor did it for me and she said that I should do one with my mom and she even said that she couldn't thing of anything. Please help I just want to be able to remember the last time I was happy and be happy again.

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Force yourself to find people that depend on you. Whether that's a family, friends, work group, volunteering, whatever. Make sure you have some initiative to get through the day. Maybe along the way you'll find out what really matters to you, and increase your enthusiasm for living. Best of luck, all of you.

Thats how i recently started feeling...i have things I'd like to do with my life but have no ambition or drive to work for them; my grades have been seriously slipping and it doesn't bother me when i think it should; i've been thinking about suicide on a near daily basis, not because i'm sad or don't want to live anymore but just because living seems to be more work than its worth; the only things I seem to care about anymore are my friends and my dad and cousin. I'd tell my parents but i know they won't believe me, they'll probably think i'm just saying it as an excuse for being a slacker. Maybe i should just end it, once school ends friends grow more distant, family pours on more pressure, and life just continues to suck more every day....can someone else just kill me so I don't have to do it?

I have pretty much exactly the same feelings as you describe, down to the last word. I know it's two years later but I hope you can tell me where you are now, hopefully you're not dead.

I mean 3 years

I know how you feel. Sure, I'm depressed and have had many moments where I wished something would happen that would kill me quickly and painlessly but I have no intention of letting that happen until I reach my goals. However, I don't really worry or care about anything anymore either. To me everything is just a routine occasionally broke with 5 seconds of joy. Nothing seems good anymore. It feels as if I don't appreciate life anymore. But I have a feeling that something will happen in the future that will change my life and fill me with joy! It could happen to you any day! For now just hang in there!

I replied to the person above saying that I relate completely with what they said and the same goes for what you said, so, where are you now in your life?

i feel like that sometimes, and other times i feel like im about to throw myself out of the window. Actually those moments i know the only thing keeping me is my family, the look on my dad's face, my sister, my cousins.. I lost my mom from breast cancer 6 years ago, then 2 years later my grandfather, then 4 years after that my grandmother. I've made a mess with my university classes not knowing when i ll ever be able to gratuate. i dont know what to do..

I feel the same way. I am hurting so bad. I am in a relationship where I think he is cheating on me. There are signs that it happened but he claims to be set up. I know a lot of strange things have been happening so it gets hard to believe anything. I am so lost. I want to trust him and be with the kids dad but is he just not happy

I wonder how hurting so bad equates to feeling nothing. Not the same, hon.

You guys are all dumb, the girl has depression. I've felt this way on and off for a long, long time. I got diagnosed with depression in 9th grade, don't worry, you're not alone. xx

Hey don't worry there is god just tell hem everything and he knows everything about you and all of us and so he knows how you feel i promise you will feel better if you start praying to hem about these may god bless you. :)

I disagree strongly. If there was a God that billions worshiped, he would come down and fix the unfixable problems we as people have. If God was real, he sounds like a ***** to me.

God is the ultimate example of knowledge, freedom, and justice. Do you honestly think he would just swoop down and fix all of life issues? how could we learn? how can we grow if not to fall flat on our faces and pick ourselves back up again. Normally I don't comment on things like this. But for you; I'll make an exception. If you want to know God shoot me a reply or something (I'm new to this so I don't really know how it works.) I'm 22 years old. If it wasn't for God, I would be much worse off than just dead. Please, I invite you and anyone else who see's this to get in touch with me if you have any questons.

That doesn't really help if you don't believe in God.

I sympathise with these comments, in fact i copied them down as I couldnt have described how i feel better. Life doesnt hold any meaning since i ceased being a mother, i.e my family now live life without me . x

I have that same question. Life no longer has meaning. Neither does death. Neither are interesting neither are worth the effort so what is left to me? Nothingness? A life of emptiness? Hah. If life no longer matters should I cease to exist? Do I have the energy to die? Does it mean anything if I die? Who can answer that? No one? Everyone?

There is nothing wrong with you. What I suggest you do is try to find it in your heart what will motivate you in the morning. You should find what makes you happy and hold on to that. I felt the same way you did and fell in a horrible depression. There is a way out, believe me. Sometimes it takes time. Like Mikelakros said, "you need to make an effort" to try to get out of this depression, you need to find out what is causing you to feel this way and try to fix it. I left my hometown because it was the best thing for me and now I live happily ever after, almost. Things can work out, you just have to try.

I can relate to that somedays....but i still get up, make breakfasts and lunches for the family, send the kids off to school, the wife goes to work, i have a half hour then i go to radiation treatments for a brain tumor. i get home after the radiation and can't think straight for hours. then I cook supper and try to clean up the house.<br />
so cry me a river sister....go get yourself some help if you really want it<br />
<br />
it's easier to curse the dark than light a candle, believe me when I say i know this is true.

I can relate to that somedays....but i still get up, make breakfasts and lunches for the family, send the kids off to school, the wife goes to work, i have a half hour then i go to radiation treatments for a brain tumor. i get home after the radiation and can't think straight for hours. then I cook supper and try to clean up the house.<br />
so cry me a river sister....go get yourself some help if you really want it<br />
<br />
it's easier to curse the dark than light a candle, believe me when I say i know this is true.

i feel the same way, everybody gets made that i have no interest in anything.<br />
i cant help it, i have no care in the world anymore. i hate it sometimes

I feel the exact same way. I feel like I wake what. I truly have no emotion towards everything I think I'm crazy or something. and it really sucks sometimes :(

Thats how i feel. Im just empty inside now... often think about how great it would be to just curl up somewhere warm like a dying cat and just slip away without noticing. It wouldn't matter in the long-run maybe. I put off that sort of thing as maybe this feeling is transient, there was a time when i was happy, perhaps i can find my way there again, i dont have the drive or want for any sort of change though. If its still a problem for you maybe you should see your doctor - i left it too long but im going to see my GP tomorrow, maybe things will become clearer for you - good luck.

There is no cure for this. I'm sitting here and reading all these comments. I felt Like I was 18 again and tripping my *** off on LSD. I decided to check my self into a mental fatigue clinic whilst I was on Lsd Talk about a surreal experience. I was completely tripping there for 3 days and they had no clue. That is when I realized it was all bullshit, just like you have. I don't know what advise to give you. I'm in the same place . I woke up and quit my job and have no money or place to move to in 7 days and I don't care. I realized that I'm truly missing a part of my self. That is okay if what you are experiencing is real or induced.

wherever you go..there you are..only you care most about you. Everyone has a purpose in this life, you just gotta find it Whatever it may be, you have one. Choose what you want in this life and go on that path. Depression is something horrible that we can not let win. Medication helps though. I went to the ER and wanted them to put me down like a dog because I would never hurt myself for fear of hell. I went to a councelor and the first thing I said to him was that he didn't know me and I knew he really didn't care but I needed some help. He said the smartest thing to me I had ever heard. "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". Made me seriously think.

Hey there Freshfrika!<br />
I know what you mean. I went through a bout of that myself recently.<br />
Hold on tight though. It can get better.<br />
But like that RandomBloke said, it takes effort.<br />
<br />
Nothing will happen without action.<br />
All actions create causes. All causes create effects.<br />
It may take time for effects to manifest, but once a cause is created those effects will follow. As soon as the relevant circumstances allow, you'll see them maifest.<br />
So creating some causes every day will ensure that many things are headed your way...<br />
<br />
Best wishes and warm regards,<br />

Thanks everyone!

sounds like you are depressed to me. I don't know if something in particular happened to bring it on or if it is just a classic case of clinical probably wouldn't hurt to go to your local mental health clinic and talk to someone about it. Many people find that medication helps...and many find that it doesn't...but since you seem to be worried about it - why not go find out what your options are and what will work for you? Wishing you a happier tomorrow ((((HUGS))))

no there nothing wrong with u if u r feeling like that just try try ur very best to do something that will bring this massive smile on ur beautiful face okay trust me i used to feel like that but not really anymore n if u need a friend u know i'm always here

It's difficult to say without more information.