10 Celebrities Who Should Be Arrested For Breaking Into Their Own Homes

Poor Henry Louis Gates, Jr....

Well, let’s say “poor,” because Gates is anything but destitute. But you have to feel somewhat bad for a renowned Harvard professor and award-winning author who was busted by an overzealous neighbor and enthusiastic cops as he attempted to break into his own house.

I mean, part of the reason I feel bad for Gates? He apparently wasn't able to do the job. Who can't break into their own home? I suppose a renowned professor and award-winning author would be a likely candidate, but still...

The entire situation begs the question: "What would I have done in the neighbor’s shoes?" That's a tough one... and I really don't know.

However, there are famous people I’d definitely call in. I wouldn’t think twice as I dialed 911 -- even if I did recognize him or her as my neighbor.

Gates didn’t deserve this treatment, but some celebrities do. We should all band together to call the police if any one of us should ever witness these 10 celebrities (or “celebrities”) attempting to shimmy a window. Even if we know for a fact that it’s their windows and their homes.

Stephen Baldwin

Why it’s okay to call him in: Once again, Stephen’s drunk and trying to get into that house he no longer owns after his bankruptcy.

Courtney Love

Why it’s okay to call her in: Shouldn’t she be in rehab again? It’s for her own good, really.

Michael Emmerson

Why it’s okay to call him in: Because otherwise you’ll have to endure yet another night of him staring out his window, into your home, into your soul. Feeling lost? Oh, yeah, that’s right -- you didn’t call the cops when you had the chance.

Lindsay Lohan

Why it’s okay to call her in: Chances are, she’ll be taken to where she needs to be -- in rehab.

Frank Silva

Why it’s okay to call him in: Long after “Twin Peaks” went off the air, he’s still the scariest guy ever. Do you really want him coming around, asking to borrow a cup of sugar? (Update: Okay, sure, he's dead -- which makes calling the cops even more imperative.)

Paula Abdul

Why it’s okay to call her in: Did you see “Bruno?” After talking about “giving back to people” while perching her derriere upon a Mexican day laborer, it’s obvious that she needs to get back into rehab. Again.

Marilyn Manson

Why it’s okay to call him in: Uh, why wouldn’t you? No, really -- why wouldn’t you? Don’t wanna? Give me a call, I’ll do it for you.

Tara Reid

Why it’s okay to call her in: Property values go up whenever she’s placed in rehab.

Mel Gibson

Why it’s okay to call him in: The resulting tussle with police will result in huge legal fees, which may help prevent the creation of another sickening, soul-crushing film. It’s worth a try!

Amy Winehouse

Why it’s okay to call her in: She’ll tell everyone no, no, no -- but we should make her go, go, go to rehab anyway.

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dudedrama dudedrama
36-40, M
28 Responses Jul 27, 2009

me neither <br />
<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-Frustrated/2070829" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a>

please add all the dumb people from HGTV. I could decorate my home wayyy better than that crap they put on there. Child Please give me a break.

DUDE! GREAT STORY! I'm telling all my friends...Sooooooooo funny!! You are so right-on...So many more to add too....

Someone mentioned Barefoot Contessa. I've got a few more to add, from Freak Network:<br />
<br />
Giada whatever her name is - the human bobble head doll.<br />
Paula Deen, Ms. EyeOwnStockInMascaraAndCanShootLasersOutOfMyEyes<br />
Guy Fry or whatever - Fall into a battery head first, did we?<br />
Rachel Ray - no explanation needed. The internet is full of freakish footage of her.<br />
The blonde bimbo/freak that won the last 'Food Network's Next Star' or whatever it's called. She's nervous as hell on TV - one day she's going to flip and mow them all down with a hand blender.

Lock them all up and throw Paris Hilton in with them too.

You forgot Sarah Palin and her clan. <br />
She's got guns and she knows how to use them.

Pete Doherty, Jordan and all WAGS. That's a UK slant guys. also where the hell did the God botherer come from in all this. They're like Swine flu.

Jeremy Clarkson! For his anti-environmental acts. <br />
<br />
Will some celebrities ever learn the dangers of hard drugs? They fool themselves into thinking they are invincible ... they should look at the photos of themselves.

Oh geez, Amy Winehouse looks like death warmed over, twice.

Add Britney Spears. Really, please do.<br />
<br />
And that picture of Marylin Manson is going to haunt me in my dreams for the next year, at least.

Bill OReilly cause he's such a pompous ***.

Nancy Grace because .1 I cant stand her. .2 She convicts everyone before she even has the facts

Great post .....

aw, I love Courtney Love and her antics, they just never get old!

That was too hilarious!!! You sir are brilliant!

I bet if i were oj simpson youd think twice about calling anyBODY,get it?you dont do that to your neighbors,but honestly youve got a priceless sence of humor

I bet if i were oj simpson youd think twice about calling anyBODY,get it?you dont do that to your neighbors,but honestly youve got a priceless sence of humor

Great one thanks

Love your comment on #3!!! LOL. I'd add Jon Gosselin.

This was really well written and I sure appreciate this at the end of the day!-Thanks!

after reading this story, I realized I lost about... 10 minutes of my life that I will never get back. now I almost wish you were MY neighbor.

I would make the call on each and every one of them....Well Not Mel......Mel....Well I would just call him......I love his movies.....and I think that he is hot..Hot....HOt....HOT!!!!!!!

I'd have to say Jack Nicholson most definitely!

How about Jack Nicholson, when he was any one of a number of lunatics? They say an actor can get so into his role that he can't get out...<br />
<br />
How about Zachary Quinto from Heroes? I had a hard time warming up to Spock in the new Star Trek movie.<br />
<br />
I know I'm just basing my choices on role, but even famous people are still people, with some of the same problems we all have, compounded by the bug on a pin syndrome. I feel quite sorry for most of them.

FOMCL If I was living in America I probably would call it in LOL

I know this is going to sound random... but I would totally add the "Barefoot Countessa" to this list -- yeah, the chick from the Food Network. Has anyone else noticed that she looks like she could be the slightly more sadistic sister to Kathy Bates crazy chick character from Misery? I tell you that woman is going to lose it one day... She scares me.

Dude!!! BOB from Twin Peaks. Good call. I would run from that dude if I saw him on the street, at my nextdoor neighbors house, where ever. Thanks for the laugh!

OK... wow! Just wow! Those pictures are pretty much spot on. I would definitely call the cops on everyone of these guys even if they were my neighbor.<br />
<br />
I can think of a few more I would add to this list. Nick Nolte and Gary Busey for sure. Thanks for taking a sad situation and making me smile a bit!