5 “Stupid Celebrity Quotes” That Aren’t So Stupid! (Ladies Edition)

When the stars speak, I listen.

Stars don’t often stray beyond their scripts or lyrics or speeches, so when a pearl of wisdom is spontaneously bestowed upon us, the masses, I revere their words. They are pearls from the lips of those who not only found the treasure, but unlocked the chest and plundered the riches... making themselves into stars!

Stars like Paris Hilton!

Sure, she’s beautiful, an heiress, a jet-setting party girl -- but Paris transcended plebian expectations by unleashing a work of video art that took the Internet by storm and shocked the Establishment. Result? Paris became the most watched (and re-watched) person in history!

A star was born, seemingly out of nothing. So when Paris says something, I'm all ears. Like:

“I think it's important for girls to be confident. Believe in yourself and... everybody's hot.”

Paris should know. She believes in herself, and she’s hot. I mean, if I believed in myself, and if you believed in yourself, we’d be sooo hot. Why don’t we listen? Look to the stars, people! The stars are bright and always beyond us.

Which is why I hate it when I come across hit pieces that are about “stupid celebrity quotes,” or some such thing. Written by haters who loathe the icky bodies with which they’re cursed and the coffee provided by their slave-driving employers, these sour pusses pounce on anything they just don’t understand.

Like Brooke Shields:

“Smoking kills. And if you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

Oh sure, laugh it up, jerkholes -- even though she’s right. We’ll all find out one day!

Some people call Winona Ryder dumb, dopey and depressingly dull when she announces, "I feel my best when I'm happy."

Others like me, however, think Winona’s a breath of fresh air in a society that views the world through a smelly haze of stinking cynicism! Go girl!

Sometimes an artist expresses her dismay with the plight of humanity -- but nobody can appreciate the pain or the art. For example:
“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry,” said Mariah Carey.

“I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

But no discussion of insightful celebrity comments is complete without delving into the words and wisdoms of Britney Spears.

Exploring her contributions to humanity is beyond the scope of this article, but let me share just one parable:

“I’ve never wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

I think this must be about how the world is a small place, a tiny speck of dust in the ever-expanding universe, blah blah blah... though I must admit, I still ponder Britney’s message.

I’m such a hopeless skag.

Next up: The dudes!

dudedrama dudedrama
36-40, M
47 Responses Aug 12, 2009

I love the stars youve listed hehehe<br />
all i can say it they really live in a very diffrent world<br />
too bad they dont see themselves like we did <br />
wouldnt they really get down to earth if they knew <br />
how we saw them . i really think they belive <br />
thier own b/s they thrive on attion <br />
but youve got to love them

It is amazing how much true wisdom can come from the minds of the truely small.

hilarious and how good does mariah carey look in that picture!...truly hilarious stuff. Thanks for the laugh.

Loved this story! Thanks to dudedrama for sharing these brilliant insightful quotes with those of us who sometimes struggle to pay the bills. Looking forward to the "Dudes' quotes. <br />
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Sad but a lot of people would vote these people into public office simply because they are 'celebrities'. Did anyone catch the interview with Brad Pitt and the t-shirt campaign to have him run for mayor of New Orleans? Actually he might do a better job of it. Makes one think a bit.

I agree with DreamSeer711. It says it all.

I agree with DreamSeer711. It says it all.

A new genre of celebrity scoop is born! Good job!

Hehe. I never follow celebrity gossip, but this was pretty good. It left me smiling. Thanks for sharing it.

I hate going to the grocery store and seeing all the stupid magazines and tabloids. I don't care what these people do. I don't believe in a materialistic, party all night kind of life. I want to do something worth while, and I want to inspire people, but the only way to get attention is by being a dumb idiot who can't stop having paparazzi moments.

great piece! i'm headed to japan in the next few months...i'll make sure to be extra careful when interacting with the native africans.

Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until they speak.

LOL brittany spears XD

LOL!!!!!!!!! That was great! :-)

LOL Rainy I'm right there with you, I actually *ack* liked what Paris had to say, and I wish she would choke on Nicole Richie, but still have to appreciate her message there. Great story and FANTASTIC photos!

Sadly, when I read all of these... Paris Hilton's sounds the most intelligent. WOW! Now there's a statement I never thought would come out of me...

And you found some of the most faltering pictures... honestly, that picture of Mariah Carey is straight up something out of a Charlize Theron attempt at yet another Oscar. ;)<br />
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Thanks for the laugh. Because I am happiest when I am happy. ;)

"We have a lot of kids who don't know what work means. They think work is a four-letter word."<br />
-Hillary Clinton