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But What Is The Distance?

Sometimes there is more distance on a bed, where two people lay in the darkness, breathing nervously and staring at the ceiling, wondering who is the stranger laying beside them, who is that person with whom they have gone to bed for the past twenty years, and from whom they know nothing. 

Sometimes even when being surrounded by friends and family, people feel lonely, and there is a huge distance separating their souls from the rest of the world.

What is the distance then when we cannot always measure it by miles, or by time? How do we know when someone is near or far from us? 

I have never touched or held you... but any notion of distance was completely broken when I let you into my tunnel, and loved you. Whatever miles or other borders, real or imaginary, were destroyed in my mind, and now all I care about is you... and me... together. We are together even when I cannot talk to you anymore.

Those hours that you shared with me so generously were the greatest gift in the world, you showed me how to live and believe again in love, in hope, in our children. You helped me turn on the switch again of my will, and endless patience... I love you so much. I love you forever. All I care about is you.
sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 34 Responses Jul 14, 2010

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For what its worth you have some really good friends on EP. You are not alone. :)

wow I am so moved, that is beautiful!<br />
I feel the earth moving~~~

Simply Beautiful

oh thank you very very much for stopping by and reading me Crysty :-)

I don't think so. Not always at least.

There is always a right and wrong just none of us have the ability to see it is all.

I think not, there can't be "right" or "wrong", all that matters is that you feel it is the best for you and helps you live.

Who knows maybe I have it all wrong.

We are very different on that, it is fascinating to know how it works for you.

They are more like emotionless dreams to me. Everything that I am not feeling in the moment is an emotionless dream, or just an image in my head.

And when you remember, do the memories come to you spontaneosuly or do you have to make an effort?

I am not really sure. Remembering what I felt as a small child is so far away that it just isnt possible for me to know if I felt emotion back then before things got bad, but I have no memory of really ever feeling me. I can remember going on vacation as a young child with my dad, and not missing my mom or grand parents at all. I can also remember sleeping over at friends houses and feeling a pain in the pit of my stomach of wanting to be home. <br />
<br />
psychology says that because of my circumstances shutting off emotion is a common reaction, but I dont recall my surroundings being so bad until later on in life. So much I dont remember though and it feels as if I always been this way.

Thank you for your kind comment allyrs. <br />
Arorin, is it your nature to not have feelings or is it an effort you do?

I can tell you it isn't easy, and it has never been easy for me to do so. Takes a lot of work for me to do so.

Oh, how I love this. :]] It is very sweet, and I couldn't have said it better myself.

It is very moving, Sweet, yes :)

So you were born with the uncompatibility of feeling emotion, Arorin?<br />
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Thank you WIB and Mizz... it is in fact moving what love can do inside us.

As always, beautifully expressed, Sweet. I agree totally when you say you can be surrounded by people, but feel disconnected to them, but you can love and feel completely in sync with someone miles and miles away. xx

I found this so moving sweetmeisje.

No I think it is more of a biological thing. As you know rational thought, and emotions are two opposite things. I was born always rationalizing every last thing, and that may be due to a lack of ever feeling emotion.

Yes, it was either surviving or abandoning yourself to feeling, and you chose the right way.

No not right now but in all fairness even as a child being able to feel any emotion at all that wasnt in the heat of the moment has been very hard for me.

Do you feel lonely now?

No it isn't usually conscious and it is a very hard thing to control, but with a little bit of faith, some soul searching, and knowledge about what is really going on people can learn.

I do agree with you, it is a choicepeople make but in most cases it is not conscious, they just feel lonely and confused and do not even understand why. We cannot feel accompanied when we are already torn and broken inside... well, I do not feel this way, but understand it from others.

Honestly I dont know if you will agree or not, but I think being alone has less to do with the people around us, but instead what we choose to feel inside. Most lonely people are the people who dont open themselves up to others.

Thank you Breeze... and Paco x

:/

This is BEAUTIFUL!!!

Thank you my dear friend... I love you, and your company. I am so glad we have met and get to share now as we do x