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Chat Rooms...

A few years back I discovered a chat site with chat rooms. I recently just got out of a relationship at that time so the chat site was a blessing. I was not ready to go out and explore---physically. I knew I needed to take care of myself and mend the failed relationship process. So the chat site was just what I needed. I was having so much fun. I would go into this one room and soon found many friends and we would gather every other night and just sit and chat. We were having fun!
I was on chat once before prior to this latest experience so I knew that to expect. I was just there to have fun. I did not know that sometimes ladies might become interested. But I would block that stuff out so I thought. So I would not allow anyone in. I would just chat and have fun. Night after night there we were--chatting and having our fun but someone joined our little group. An young asian lady ( Jaz). She was so bubbly and alive. I found myself enjoying her company. Sometimes I would come online late and there she was. We would go into rooms and hang out. Soon we were becoming closer. I fought and battled with what I was feeling for her and I was developing real feelings for her. I thought, no this cannot be happening. At the same time, she was falling too. But we both fought our feelings. She was across the world from me. This was not going to happen! Well days turned into months and that little group we had was starting to fall a part and I was right in the middle. A few ladies were fighting and one got real mean. That ended our little group. One morning I had an email from Jaz. She revealed to me that she had cancer! Which made sense because she would tell us that she is feeling better. or has not been around because she was feeling sick. We wouldnt see her sometimes. About two weeks later after that email--she died! I still think about her. RIP, Jaz. Thank you for the company and the laughs.
deleted deleted 26-30 11 Responses Sep 19, 2012

Your Response


I just deleted my previous comment. It was my way of looking for the good side in everything but my comment, I realized just now when I reread it, instead of helping it could have heart your feelings. Own you my appologises, sorry.

How did you find out she died?

If you and she could be together.

So sorry for your loss and for hers. She sounds like a true angel and glad you two had the opportunity to meet when it seems like you both needed it. If you believe in guardian angels, I think she will be yours, forever :-)

It's good that u had found a connection in her real life to find out about her death. Too often, when some ppl disappear from being Online, we don't know what happened.
U know, just the silver lining that u were included :)

I am always really sad to hear about things like this but I had a similar experience - although I'm pretty certain the guy faked his death. Long story...his sister contacted me etc but I think it was him. What I'm saying is - the truth is sometimes harder to access than you really believe. 'Many' online people seem to die. I'm sorry for your loss whatever the reality may be x

that is really sad to lose a life of a close friend... Im sorry for your loss..

I'm sorry that happened. I know how it is when you care about your Internet friends.

Wow,a touching story. Sorry for your loss but I think its wonderful she impacted your life for some reason. The fact you have her to think about is great, a gift!

Very sad,I think she found some happiness in that little group and you,and that's a very special thing.

People like that I find so amazing.I think they learn that it's just better to enjoy life and not sweat the small or big stuff.That phrase comes to mind,we all create our own happiness.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. :(