We Are All Someones Idiot Or Nut Case

I don't care if people think I am weird or strange

I no longer care if people see me as hyper-dramatic

I like being a little different 

but I guess it takes many types for the world to keep moving



lets face it people can be mentally ill for a lot of reasons

assault, trauma, rape, on-going persistant abuse. a hit or blow to the head, accidents can change people.  

for none of us are that perfect. 


you can't see my pain but its in my head

sometimes things do not make sense to me.... where headaches and fuzzy brain feelings step in and I feel dreadful

sometimes having a hard time seeing life separate from the dream state... sometimes picking up and listening to a sound others can't hear

sometimes thinking about the double entendres out there that just happen in life accidently that screw you up... they make you laugh, they make you cry they make you realise nothing is that full of certainty in life but our deepest most convictions .... 


I don't feel ashamed of having a mental illness... depression, paranoia and sleep deprivation and panic and post traumatic disorder just a few 

and I no longer feel the guilt I once did about it and about not being perfect.
czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
36-40, F
3 Responses May 4, 2012

my sister has been in hospital and had shock treatment. and the only difference between the two of us is that <br />
<br />
1- I can take a lot more pain than she can<br />
2- I am often too proud to get help<br />
3- I avoid hospitals ...she loves having medical staff fuss over her<br />
4- I'm more used to believing I don't really exist more than she is.

I know I keep meeting people around me who look like famous people I like .... so it feels like a witch craft or something and I don't know what to make of it. <br />
<br />
I have had some strange things happen to me.... like animals warning me not to go places ... a magpie one day made a real noise to let us know a snake was near... the bird was letting us know the snake was around... that is nature and kindred spirits calling. call me crazy but it felt like something unreal... and its happened before.

no matter how clever you are there will always be someone who thinks you are stupid .... I talk to lawyers who openly call other clever lawyers nuts.... and I have met a few hyper megalomania people with medical degrees who live in a whirlwind and who are nuts... it takes all kinds and the illness does not discriminate that is for sure.