Ten Reasons Gay Marriage Is Un-american

  1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

  2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

  3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

  4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

  5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

  6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

  7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

  8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

  9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

  10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

brittnyann99 brittnyann99
13-15, F
284 Responses Sep 12, 2012

Wow you truly are stupid. 1st love is love. 2nd straight Marriages don't make straight children because how else are people gay. 3rd gay marriage maybe making more people gay because they finally feel it's safe for them to come out. 4th. Guess what. With gay marriage. I have never seen accidental babies. 5th gay people can adopt babies. 6th. Just because your gay doesn't mean your children will be gay. 7th. Religion and government are 2 different things. They don't control each other. 8th. Just because you think there wrong doesn't mean others think there wrong. 9th. You can survive without having a mom or dad. People can have other role models. 10th. Shut up jerk. It's the 21st century!!!!

when I saw the first few lines of this post I thought WTF!!!!!

but.....damn! soooooo funny. absolutely brilliant :)


Funny! I love this post...

Awesome satire! To the people who responded negatively, your a moron. Read people!!!

I cant believe this is still being commented on

I\'d more surprised if it was not. This is a hot button issue and will continue to be so. At least, until equality is so common place, that it is not only nothing special, but would be considered peculiar if it WAS brought to question. Who\'d of thought, huh?

Wow. I was very frustrated with the title until I read further. Very well written, deep, and insightful. Ignorance is what suppresses us as Americans; it's what keeps us from accomplishing the American dream.

I have a broad sense of humor, but I know as many of you "should" know that not everyone takes it as a joke. I always make sure that my comments don't go overboard. You'd get that much more respect, though it figures. Age doesn't define maturity especially here.

I agree 100% this is so true.

Do you guys not realize that she's not being serious right?! It's sarcasim maybe some of you should learn it.

Ps. Brittny i love this post lol

Ohhhh I get it now.. Lol sorry.

First of all.. You said "gay parents will only raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children".. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? If you're gay, you're obviously not a parent! You have to have sex with the opposite gender in order to make kids.
Then you said that if gay people get married, we won't have enough children. Even if they're NOT married they're not gonna make any children. What difference does it make if they're married or not?

Well first of all a lot of people have eye glasses, use air conditioning, and use polyester.
And how will gay marriage encourage people to be gay ? Being gay is a choice not an encouragement. And saying hanging around tall people will make you tall- so not true.
As far as I can see people aren't acting crazy because of legalizing gay marriage. And so what if people want to marry their pets ? If they don't do stuff with them then who cares ?
Today women aren't property, blacks can marry, and people get divorced all the time. And gay people can have children weather they adopt or use someone to carry their baby. And if old people love each other and want to get married then who's gonna stop them ? No one.
Our orphanages aren't full because kids are starving and dying where there is too many kids and no orphanages or not enough. So the world doesn't need more kids, unless they can be taken care of.
By saying a gay couple will raise a gay child and straight parents will raise a straight child is very untrue- i know people with straight parents that are gay or bi.
And by the way not all people are religious. And children with gay parents can succeed because one parent can take the role of a father and the other can take the role of the "mother."
And lastly I'm pretty sure people have adapted to cars, since pretty much everyone uses them.

You do know that was sarcasm right? You know that old saying. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. That\'s you.

Oh well sorry. I didn't know gay people were a JOKE TO YOU. I'm glad we are soooooo funny.


I love it! and what I love more is that Cargan has no Idea that you were being sarcastic! LOL

thank you for proving evolution can go in reverse

You do know that was sarcasm right? You know that old saying. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. That\'s you.

You only made your self look stupid here especially with #7 and #4
blacks can and do marry whites and divorce is legal
straight parents do not raise only straight kids and having gay people does not automatically make you gay. I have a friend that was adopted by a lesbian couple thats straight as it is possible to be straight but know of 15 people off hand that thier parents are beyond homophobic that have gay kids.

That some one can not succed with out a male and female role model is total and complete bull **** Millions of people have grownup from single parent homes due to death or divorce and been beyond successful productive citizens

also gay maraige has been legal in past and it didnt make world end or anything else and we have adapted to everything you say in 10 unless your stuck in past before Ford made the model T

You do know that was sarcasm right? You know that old saying. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. That\'s you.

Gay marriage is not wrong or unnatural. Gays have been around as long as straight people have been. in fact longer than marriage at all has been. presuming to know what god wants is only going to lead to you being in trouble when your time comes. Unless some one could show the original bible untranslated where it says being gay is unnatural then ill stand by that if it was unnatural it wouldnt exist. though seeing the original bible is an impossibility because its long since been destroyed and the copies/ translations have been interpreted by what the person copied it wants it to say to justify thier wants for who knows how many times. there is not a single person alive that can honestly say what god wants or what truely was in the first bible. All it is anymore is a freaking propaganda document filled with moralistic ideals that one translator or another decided to add. it has ceased being what god wants long before any of us where alive.

You do know that was sarcasm right? You know that old saying. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. That\'s you.

Yes new all of that but made me do some thanking after my lol. So I spoke my peace on how I feel. No big deal.

Well that's funny how you put all of that. And your so young. Well I have 2 friends that are gay. And they both say gay marriage is wrong and they say that mostly because if you read the bible it says same sex sex is wrong and so it's wrong. Gays have been around for ever. One of our gay friend was married when they split up he was in the wrong place at the wrong time or rt place at rt time. And now he is in to guys only to the point he checks out and talks about the guys walking by with the girls. Our other friend his story kinda the same way but didn't ever marry. Now he likes guys he says he gave up on girls and needed sex and one thing led to another. They say you don't just know your gay that it finds you. And they have found from guys they dated. That become gay also has a lot to do with how you were raised. But also some just have genes messed up witch makes you just be gay. I'm not against the gay ppl but there is a place for to many it's wrong some just keep quit some think big deal what ever. I'm more on the have fun and be happy but same sex marriage is wrong not rt. it's not natural or rather its not what nature had in mind. Anyway I'll shut up now. To every one good luck and have fun.

Texstcowboy, what you\'ve just wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.

Everyone on this page is now dumber for having read to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

What ever. Lol everyone but me can speak their mind. That\'s funny. Yes I share my wife and she shares me. We do it together so that\'s not cheering. Be wrong in some people\'s eyes. I just say having sex with the same sex is wrong. All though seeing girl girl is HOT!... Lmao. I wasn\'t meaning any harm if you read what I said 2 guys telling me about being gay. I wasn\'t talking **** about or on anyone. Just made me thank of it so I posted about it. I\'m no writer so was just talking. Guess I messed up. Just have fun ppl. Lmao

This is very funny but it would be even funnier it I didn't know a lot of people believe everything you wrote and then some!

Very well done.

It is making a point that if we went by one groups standards we would be un american i believe gay people have the right to get married and annoy one person the rest of there life just like the rest of us lol

For a monent, I was ready to swear @ u & made you feel stupid. But, i started reading the coments. Thn, i get it. This a satire. Good job!!!

Seriously..? How close-minded can you get?

1. Actually, being gay is completely natural, since the brain makes more of a hormone of the opposite sex of that person. (like woman hermones for a man and vice versa) Which causes them to feel attracted towards the same sex. So technically it's natural.

2. I'm not sure if it encourages becoming gay, since your brain makes more of those "gay hormones" whether it's allowed or not. I'm taller than 2m and almost everyone I hung out with for years were short, so that negates your statement about becoming taller by hanging out with tall people.

3. Whether they open these doors or not, people will do crazy stuff anyways.

4. Women are not property since they're not material, they're as alive and as humans as men.

5. Straight marriage won't be less meaningless, it just becomes marriage.

6. This is purely insulting to people who fall in these groups.

7. If only gay couples make gay people, how come there are so many gay couples if only straight people could marry? It's very contradicting.

8. Religion is just that, beliefs. Who cares about religion anyways, if people choose to follow those rules, they are free to but they shouldn't do it "just because religion says so".

9. That could possibly be true, having a male and female role model can be beneficial but kids will also learn from other males or females besides their parents.

10. Humans are rather good at adapting to situations. Most anyways.

Though I'm suspecting you're nothing more than a troll, I do want to share my opinion on this.

I don\'t see the humor in discrimination, perhaps I\'m just good like that.

Unless it\'s sarcasm and was meant in a way to defend gay rights. I\'m not good at recognising this kinda stuff haha.

Oh, then I\'ve said nothing at all haha.

This is pretty spectacular. Glad you shared it!

where did god say it was bad I can not seem to really find where he has written that any place




Call me when you're 21 ♥ haha

Well done!

Well said, young lady!!

Folks... I need your help here.... Please remind DozerDan that he is the single biggest douche on this site.

Thank you very much.

Great post BTW. :)

Come on, don\'t tell me you haven\'t worked out that he\'s secretly Andy Kaufman?

I can\'t believe he\'s been gone for nearly 20 years. He was a genius.

That\'s what he wants you to think.

Children should rule the world while they are still young and stupid and know everything.

I was starting to agree with the first two things. . . till I burst out laughing at three. LOL!
This is classic!

You were agreeing with them? Were you... reading them? \"Hanging around tall people will make you tall\", for example..?

Huh???? Go find someone else to show off your EGO Mr.!!

winstonwelles, next time you try hitting on someone\'s else comment be sure that person can\'t speak english, because no matter how stupid my english looks like to you, you\'re intelligence means nothing but a bursting ego to me.
Get that???? Stop picking on people who doesn\'t care about you!!!!! Get that???

Yes Winston! \"Stop picking on people who doesn\'t care about you!!!!!\" LMFingAO! ;D

**stares at you coldly** now lady, are you done proving yourself here ? Coz lady, I can see how your profile wants to convince me that your intelligent, after seeIng your post here.

\"Picking on you\"? I made one snarky comment. It had nothing to do with your English -- how was I supposed to tell it\'s not your first language? There was nothing wrong with the English in your first comment.

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I'm just breathless. One question though: Do you share your drugs?


Excellent!! my only fear is that the anti-gay christian ayatollahs will adopt this as their creed! lol!

haha much love from England that was hilarious and cleverly done. gay marriage is legal and recognized now :D

Lmao !!

This is one of the most ridiculous judgemental stories i have read yet.

Thank you

Thank you.

Very well written....

My first thought was EXCUSE ME lol but then I read . This is great. You're awsome for this post.

Why on Earth are you in this group if you are against gay people??????

Are you seriously asking this?

I laughed at this when this came out few years ago and it's still funny and spot on, although you seem to have missed writing down the original source. :p

Wow! Superb writings!

Britt, you don't realize, but some of what you congregated up is true, than you will ever understand. I feel sorry for you. I hope you will be redirected in your thoughts before eternity.

Lol. I bet you disappointed quite a few homophobes who saw your title and thought they'd find some information to hide their narrow-minded view behind some sort of moral excuse. I'm sure they squawked and clucked when and IF they realized your point.

ha ha ! :))

Lmao! Fantastic! :D

I see that some people didn't get your humor. Funny stuff! Everybody is on the period or what?

im straight i dont see it like that

and u cant encourage people to be gay either you are or your not

<p>Brittany, as long as young people like you continue to see stupidity for what it is, this country has a fighting chance to finally reverse the suffering that the Puritans and their religious zealot followers heaped upon many generations because of their misguided ideology, ignorance and false sense of piety.</P>

Way to much common sense to have the other side to even comment!

great sense of humour,thanks

Brilliant stuff, Britt!! Thank you!!!

so your point is?

It is called "irony" - look it up in the dictionary!

I almost couldn't keep up with it, so I had to read each like twice. Then, of course, I laughed. :)

You're between 13-15? Very impressive. I am against it as it is straight up sin and I hate how people are twisting scripture to make it ok. It is getting bad. You see the article today about the Canadian Supreme Court ok'ing it as hate speech because a pastor handed out flyers calling it sin and that it is an abomination? They sued the guy and won. This is insanity! I get home from work today and front page of the St Paul paper states in bold lettering Gay marriage fight officially is on. Extremely sad how we have fallen so fast. The scripture says this was going to happen though and it's happening during out lifetimes. Crazy and sad stuff.

The problems with religion it was conceived before science ,and the grand hypocrisy on those who profess it , and the contradictions contain in it;s doctrines. . If the adherents did not impose it others were dedicated ,sincere .and consistent, they would get a lot more respect !!. As far as judging others "do not worry about the speck in your neighbors eye ,concern yourself ,with the plank in your own eye" ,",judge not lest thee be judged "",those that have ad no sin cast the first stone "and a passage that offends the most "the love of money is root of all evil" !!!

Good stuff! I always ask the bible thumpers if they've sold they're daughters into slavery yet, then make an offer. Then ask why they deny that book and accept others then they leave.

Billytex, you are SO correct!!

You're absolutely correct in calling them bible thumpers. These people use the Bible to thump people on the head to get others to agree with their own personal agenda - which has nothing to do with what The Bible even represents.

im straight and i support them u douche waffle

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I loved this. <3 my fellow LGBTQ's, we will overcome the words of the mislead, and in the end join hands with them as history has proven before with other "minorities."

Your awesome! I love this can't wait till my sis and her partner reads this, and yeah my sis is a lesbian and I love her! Thnx for sharing :)

I love this!

Hell yeah this is so funny. Awesome, thanks for posting this.

Interesting commentary! Thank God we have our 1st amendment right!

Love it!

What an excellent piece of satire - spot on!

Why, if we let gay people marry -
America becomes gay that means everyone will be living in tastefully decorated homes, and they will all be well groomed and dress well!
If that happens WHO WILL SHOP AT WALMART ANYMORE??? Ever think of that?!
Does any body really want to take Walmart right to be Amoral creeps ?
Well now come on Walmart works really hard at exploiting and abusing their workers bribing governments around the world routinely dealing with sweat shops evading any kind of safety standard and putting local bussiness out of bussiness .

hi. im 14, im gay and im not sure whether to slap you or kiss you.
sarcastic, intelligent and hilarious
luv u

Yes it was scarasitic but it the missed the entirely point that a service economy only breads ignorace , crime and dissease , and of cource homopobia is .one of many forms of virulent igorance . .If you Have greater social moboility with acess to education and more respect for work than ignorance does not stand a chance . Also whether being gay is learned behavior genetic or enviromental it is not considered a dissease so what is the point of asking ? What matters is a loving supportive realtionship
a service economy is an equal opportunity offender since low wage jobs sabotage many a realtionship despite oreintation ethicity age or creed !!!

How is it that people are not able to see how sarcastic this is xD Seriously, this was so cheeky and witty. I think people should look up what satirical commentary is, because they are missing out on a hilarious post!

It is most unfortunate that you don't realize yet that sexual preferences have no correlation with choice or disease. Entire communities went flat on their faces when the scientific backup was presented, as always churches, children and those others that are never a lacking for an educational argument find such tripe to hold truth and advocate it without sense, compassion or reason. People are people, stop the hate and ignorance.

Don't joke about stuff that will most certainly hurt people. Jokes are for making people smile.

hmm... you make quite A fair point. Perhaps I was a bit overzealous from all the negative attitudes I've seen.

You have my apoligies

Awesome, just awesome

Why, if we let gay people marry - everyone in America will want to be gay! If everyone in America becomes gay that means everyone will be living in tastefully decorated homes, and they will all be well groomed and dress well! If that happens WHO WILL SHOP AT WALMART ANYMORE??? Ever think of that?!

I don't know what era you live in but our current earth is actually over populated and in a sense, any sort of block to reproduction (willing or not) is mothers natures way of reducing the population without a mass murder throughout the world. Also I think some of your information is a little outdated... Might want to look into that if you want people to take you seriously.

I don't want people to take me seriously. I was being sarcastic. You would think after over 300 comments people would get that by now

Even if it's a joke it's not really that funny or ironic...? Am I really in the wrong here?


You are absolutely right! If anyone has a problem with this is being too sensitive! It's just a hot button for some! Unfortunately, there actually are people that believe this stuff like people ( some) believe word for word of the Bible!!!!

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Nicely written. A 30 pound sledgehammer couldn't drive the point home any better!

Okay, so it's okay to you for people to have sex with a horse (which is legal in at least 30 states) than for two homosexual people to be married?

And you do know that black people can and do marry white people right? The same with divorce. And what would you say if a gay person came up to you (if you're in a relationship or whatever) and said your relationship was pointless because it'll never last? What if they told you everything you're telling them? Wouldn't be so fun then now would it?

Hahahahaha this comment made my day XD

wow.. Sarcastic... Tougue in cheek.. and dead on point! Nice! And entertaining as well.

So you're saying that real Americans always reject un natural things? Explain the circumcision rates in America then. Gay marriage won't encourage people to be gay, the sexual orientation of a person is completely their choice, and while you do have the right to express your opinion you cannot stop people from being who they truly are inside. There are gay people all around you that you would never guess because a lot of people in America stifle your being, and make people too uncomfortable to freely express themselves for who they are. What you are trying to do is maintain the social outlines for society from past ages. Honestly what kind of "crazy behavior" do you think will come from letting gay couples get married? Dogs can sign marriage contracts now? Why don't you try and test your theory by putting a pen between your dog's paws and tell it to give its signature. I don't know where in America you're living, but straight marriage has also changed much throughout the years. Women may be treated like property depending on the spouse, but from the POV of the government both the wife and husband have equal rights. Black people definently are allowed to marry somebody that's Caucasian. You're going to decide who can love who based on ethnicity? Divorce is also in fact not illegal, because the divorce process goes through the government just as marriage does, and when the process is over you're legally divorced. How would gay marriage change the value of a straight marriage? If you ask me they are in a category of their own, and don't sully the importance of a straight marriage. Straight marriages are not valid due to the sole reason of reproduction, an abundance of couples marry and decide NOT to have kids. Gay people, infertile people, and old people should and do have the right to marry, because no one person can deny the couples right to be together if they truly love and respect one another. Maybe the orphanages around you aren't full, but certainly many are across the nation, as good as people may make it out to be orphanages and foster homes aren't the proper conditions to raise a child. We actually don't need that many more children, if you we're up to date on politics like you make yourself out to be, you would know that the world is very over populated and hunger has plagued many countries. Are you kidding me? Gay people raise gay children, and straight people only raise straight children? That statement is emensely ignorant, many gay people come from homes with a mom and a dad, how you were raised isn't the biggest factor of the matter, because when you move out and are on your own, your orientation is ultimately the choice of the person. There are more than just one religion in america, and as much as you may not want to admit it religion is not always right, since you're a female if you we're a member of the Muslim religion and lived in Saudi Arabia you would be required to wear a veil covering your face called a hijab, you would not be allowed to leave the house unless accompanied by a male, and you wouldn't be able to drive. That is a true theocracy, not America. America is in fact a Democracy. Children CAN succeed without a female and male role model, I personally know of people, and many VERY successful people are brought up without a parent in their life such as Tupac Shakur, and Christopher Wallace, these two in particular we're raised by only one parent in some of the worst ghettos in America, and they turned out to be millionaires by their twentys. You completely have the right to express how you feel on the subject, but the way that you worded it made you out to seem slanderous toward gay people, and a bit homophobic. We only live one life and the "foundations of society" should not have to determine how one has to live their lives. Does a bird not fly? Society should accept people for who they are instead of judging one another, leave the judgement for judgement day.

I think the person was only joking, i do not think these are the real views of this person.

it's satire.

It amazes me how many people just don't get it

Was this sarcasm cause if no then your a homophobe

Perfect. Love it sweetie! Can I borrow this?


Wow. Cute and sweet profile pic there babe. Too bad I can't add you.

Omg too funny....is it ok if I repost this...i luv it!

love it!

Well played. :P

I get it...it's satire.

I love this! At first I was shocked but then I was yeah so true. Lol :)

gay is 99% sport for the iconoclast

That's great I love it.

Very well done. Thanks for giving me some things to smile about. :]

Well even though this is apparently largely satire . In example 10 There is .nothing humourous about a third world economy which is soley based on service sector that produces nothing but hotels fast food and shopping malls etc , Take a look at all Caribean tourist places whose economy are service based / tourist attractions where people live in squalor It really does not produce a substainable economy with livin wage jobs .

Very clever young lady, and so funny too. Well done :)

Yes, the HORRORS of extending equal rights to 7 - 10% of our population, who have always been 7 - 10% of our population, for all of human history. Not to mention the fact that 100% of gay people had heterosexual parents (at least for the time of their conception). Tolerance for all seems to me to be the single most fundamental teaching of Christ, while contemporary "Christians" seem to think it their MORAL OBLIGATION to deprive other people (whom they don't even know!) of the same rights they enjoy, for the simple dumb luck of having been born heterosexual. The fact that homosexual behavior causes many of us heterosexuals to cringe, if you stop to think about it for a minute, should be strong evidence that one's sexuality is not a choice at all, but is deeply programmed into each of us genetically, for reasons we cannot begin to understand.

You're a very bright and insightful young lady, and it's very encouraging to see young people like yourself using their brains to think for themselves, and exercising the courage to stand up for what they think is right. Great piece!

your 10 reasons caught me by surprise, I'm glad I read it first before responding, very funny!

WTF? do you realy beleave what you say? it is not 1765 :((( i am sad that you say to peaple ho loave each other (what ever gender) cant marrye? but if we just let marriing go for a sec just thing of the sociatis before the worst things happen to man (i mean chrisitanity(1000 years of dark in europe ) it was normal to be gay bisexual and you coud live whit that noone looked in a diffrent way on you and for the last thing not everything that a religion say is good for peaple a just saw a film on nacional geograpich about the wichhunters bibble a madman wrot it in the name of god and the pope and almost 40.000 women wore burnd alive becouse of that over years even in the usa now just think of waht is normal maybe the tings the church say to you are just long not working models of the dark ages you are just sazing ok to becouse you wahs rased this way

sorry abaut that i never learnd elglish but i thing you can understand the mpost of it but plz ask what you dont understand