Ignorant Mom!!!

So me and my mom were eating out. There is a gay couple in the next table. Very affectionate to each other. I hadn't even noticed them. My mother nudges me and nods in their direction. She tells me and i quote they didn't get enough beating when they were a child. Hence they're gay now. I was literally shocked. I know she and i have had many differences over the years. But i never assumed she'd be a homophobe cause she is also a health care worker and we learn people have no control over one's sexual orientation.

So i tell her that could be her grandchild in the future. There is every single possibility that her grandchild could be gay or bi and it has nothing to do with how the child is raised/disciplined. She ignores me and goes on with her nonsensical views/opinions.

However, there is a change i see lately. When we walk past a gay couple, she doesn't comment on them anymore. Or maybe she still does, just doesn't do it in front of me anymore.

Anyways people, my point being be true to yourself and live without fear.
inblues inblues
26-30, F
30 Responses Sep 21, 2012

I have commented on this to others with similar experiences ...

I'm delighted that you found your place along the "gender attraction" spectrum, and are comfortable with those desires. Most of us are somewhere along that range, and it often changes as we age. But you show that you have a wider range of awareness and understanding of these things than many who might resist or deny the feelings you have explored. Good for you! You are entirely right on! I have often said that it doesn't matter what bits you have on the outside, everyone wants to be loved; to feel special in someone else's eyes; and to love that person freely and deeply. You're very wise to realize this.

But understand also that you are from a very different generation from your parents and, particularly in the "old world" countries, the enlightened realization that WHO you love is not as important as that you do LOVE, and are loved in return. Life is tough enough without having to resist the pressures of the knee-jerk reactions of the unenlightened.
It is surprising indeed to hear that your Mom, as a healthcare worker, maintains that rather absurd view. It does sound as if she is simply parroting the nonsense that HER parents must have spewed in front of her. It is odd, you're right.

That said, it is YOU who must show her the way to acceptance by forgiving her her ignorance. Don't try to fight it out, chances are you'll lose, and only damage your family connections to far to salvage later. I say "seem" because you have to take the long view of these things, and time really does affect a lot of these things. It may take a LOT of time, but it usually does work itself out. The more you demonstrate to your Mom that you have no issue with who anyone else may be attracted to -- and will not accept her fanciful idea that discipline has anything to do with innate inherent GENETIC sexuality -- the more you chip away at her intransigence. Have faith in who you know yourself to be, and try to rise above the petty misunderstandings of your family. Good luck, and show them the way to an enlightened life!

im a lesbian if someone I knew didn't know I was gay and made that comment around me id put the ringtone on my phone when they call as Macklemore Ft Ryan Lewis - Same love, and say look I got something to show u call my phone

Good for you and yikes about your mom. Where did you learn to be so wonderfully openminded. Good for you. Please message me ok.

Hopefully your words sunk in. :)


Yeah anti gay attitudes are dying out. If you want to make out with the same sex I say do it!

Good for you!!! Any time I hear someone saying stupid ****, like gays shouldn't get married, I always say....so how does that effect you and why do you care? Two guys or gals getting married, so what, they are happy....how does their happiness effect you negatively??? They usually shut the F up.

People like you make my day :) Standing up to your Mum in such a way. Love IS Love and why should it matter! Labels are Labels for society and it's time people noticed that!

Thank you.

Your amazing for standing up to your Mom like that. And its true everyone is going to at some point know someone who is gay or bi. Wether it be a family member, Co worker, or family friend, or maybe even your doctor, ect.. We need to have tolerance and accept that its really npne of our buisness whom others choose to have sex with. Its just our business to love.

Thank you for standing up for us

Thank you for standing up for the rights of others, the world is a better place for everyone when we defend each other’s rights.

i hear you! my mom is exactly the same in her opinions.
major difference is, we have an all out argument that lasts for hours.

youre one strange women

People are more open with their mouths these days rather than their minds. Idk maybe thats MY opinion? It sickens me that some people are just so set in their ways that they think everyone on earth should be the same. Wouldnt the world be such a boring place? Im a mother of a possible gay. Shes only a teen and has not come forth and said to me "mom I am gay" but Ive witnessed her relationships with the same gender, found notes and overheard conversations with her friends. I struggle because its NOT something that I would ever shun my own daughter away for. I love her reguardless of whom she falls in love with. After all....we were all created equal, yet different! I give you kudos for saying something to your mother! Maybe we need more people like YOU in this world <3

it seems some of the world is opening up i beein a transgendered male live as a woman some of the ladys can tell or know and treat me as one of the girlswich makes me feel so full however men seem to be much more narrow minded i have been doubed sissy queer *** all my life it dosent hurt any more i have to and will be me hugg debra16

That's a very disturbing statement by your mother and it surprises me a bit to come from someone on that age group (50's). It would be different if an elderly person would say something ignorant like that, but it still shouldn't be tolerated.

I was so damn lucky in the selection I didn't get to make with my parents....My mother knew I was going to be gay long before I know I was to be gay...and both of my parents supported me from the time I was 5 or 6 or 7 and now that my mom is gone, I lean on my dad's support a lot.

i ****** gay

I have a niece that's Bi (this week) may be gay next week, a niece that is gay all the time and a nephew that is gay and may be a tranny when he is away from his family. they are all first cousins and all very close. We have a very large family that all get together for the holidays or just a good family BBQ and no one ever puts them down they are part of our family Gay,Bi it doesn't matter and shouldn't matter. I am waiting for the day my nephew shows up dressed though, I know he has had some kind of breast surgery done the last time he was at the house I gave him a hug because I hadn't seen him in a year and he had his chest rapped up in like an Ace Bandage reall tight I didn't say anything but I figure the next time we see him he will be out. that's what the world should be all about who cares if two girls are holding hand or two guys kiss in public we have alot more to worry about then who's kissing who..

this a wonderfull story i am trandgendered 62 years old and i wish my family would accept me but some people are so narrow but i am still all woman trapped in male body your family is beautifull hugs debra 16

Well said.

oh so very true thank you honey i being a gay transgendered person thank you so much debra 16

amen i say...

we just have to understand that generation didnt grow up seeing what we see these days. they probably never expected to see that in their lifetime and now its all over so im sure she didn't know how to handle seeinf such a thing bit good job sticking up for them. thats awesome.

Good for you for speaking your mind, being gay isn't a bad thing - after all, love is love, right?

Good for you for speaking your mind, being gay isn't a bad thing - after all, love is love, right?

Wow that sucks. I know the feeling. My brother is gay and my father can't deal with it at all. I just try to remember my own faults and let it go.

Your mother was actually in fear? Now that is scarry!

you are awsome for standing up for that couple

Think your Mom should know better but bible teachings/church sermons from her informative years are hard to break.

Reread the story.

I'm an ordained non denominational minister and people should follow what Jesus said in the Gospels. Judge not lest ye be judged. he also said nothing in the Gospels

Thanks for the story -Im glad to see you are much more mature than her!

I absolutely hate idiot people who think just because someone like the same sex means that they are some kind of alien, it's very rude to go around pointing at people saying "oh my god look at them that's disgusting" I can't stand homophobes.