I was never part of the popular crowd. I was never pretty, skinny, or had many boyfriends throughout school. I was thrown into a world of darkness and lonliess at an early age. Always thought of as an outcast. Sure, I had "friends". Those who "forgot" to call me about this or that, or, "stopping by slipped my mind". It didn't take me long to fall into a very deadly trap. I began hanging out with the "socially unaccepted". The rebels. The drug heads, ******, and criminals. This was not a path I ever wanted for myself, but the need to feel accepted taunted me for far too long.
I began doing things to fit in. I started smoking. Skipping school. Sleeping with random guys because I actually thought they liked me. My mom finally (after 2 years) began to notice the things I had became rapidly involved with, and thought moving would change this, but town after town, it was always the same crowd.
Turning 18, it got even worse. By this point, my looks had dramitacly changed, and guys began noticing me. I was labeled as being "easy". A drug *****, who would sleep with anyone to get a fix. Knowing, this was not the life I wanted to lead, but not quite knowing what to do to fix it. Everyone telling me that I would never make it without them, mostly guys I would have "flings" with.
Several events in my life have began the healing process of all of the wrong I have been trying to make right for years. I met a wonderful man who taught me the difference between what people thought, and what I believed in my heart. After time, I began to brush off what others said about me, and no longer let the name-calling decide who I really was.
I have been through so much in my short years. (I am only in my early 20s.) At this point, people talk about me, and I laugh in their face. I don't care anymore. I know who I am, and if people want to make me the center of their conversations, fine. So be it. At the end of the day, all they have done is belittled themselves, and those who listen to them.