I'm contiplating suicide and I'm ready to embrace my end
slippingunder slippingunder
18-21, F
7 Responses Aug 19, 2014

If you won't live for yourself then live for everyone else who feels like you do, be what wasn't there for you

That sounded very compassion less and I am sorry for that, I obviously agree with everyone who has responded, but if that doesn't work I wanted to try something else if that had more of an impact or something, I only mean to help

It's okay. And in my 4 times being in a sphyc ward I can say the most important thing is to want to live for yourself.

I'm sorry, I've been there before too

It's okay man, I see you want to help. Thank you <4

Don't do it, you are a star so shine! :)

Unfortunately I'm pretty convinced to at least do the starvation...

Why do you want to do that?

Please dont

To ruin my insides and make suicide at least a little quicker

My mom is on the couch next to me dying because her insides don't work, it's not pleasant or fast. Why are you so hell bent on suicide?

That sounded bad too! I'm sorry, I just really don't want you to do it and think it's a terrible idea

Because I messed up the beautiful life I was given into something terrible. Imagine drawing a beautiful flower, then having someone else mess it up in ink. That's what I did.

How? And redemption is within your grasp

I did a lot of things 20 year olds do...like smoke and drink and do drugs and all that jazz

So?! Why does that make you tainted? Experience is knowledge not condemnation

You're 13-15? I'm 20 so I remember thinking the same way, like I would never do those awful things, but I drank and smoked and a lot of stuff too, and it was freaky and I was worried I was ruined too, but then I found out that nearly everybody was in the same boat as me and that it was all okay:)

You didn't ruin anything you are just blooming and growing and learning, like a flower, you were growing green and leaves and now you are growing a flower bud and it looks different than what you thought but it's not bad or wrong. I never thought I would do the things I did, but those are just choices and nothing is written in stone, so you can make different choices as many times as you would like! Suicide is permanent. Choosing to drink or not to isn't something that you can't change, your body will naturally heal yourself and pretty soon it will be right back to how it was!

Did that help at all??

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I'm not gonna lecture you, but I'm gonna say that I used to want to kill myself at one point. And i am so glad that i didn't. but i just want you to know that, if you kill yourself its a disadvantage because you could do so much good with your life to help other people. You are probably a really good person and if you were gone that'd be one less good human. I'd like to think that the reason for all of the evil today is because all of the good people have either died fighting for a cause or killed them self. Whatever it is that you're going through, it'll get better someday.

I am not gonna go into a big lecture here. I just want to say. I have tried to kill myself. I drank a **** ton of box wine and then a bunch of nyquil and I started to drift off. I woke up the next morning just fine and my mom had found the note. I went to a mental hospital and then back again a few months later because i was still wanting to die. The second time they gave me the right medication and I was able to start living a normal life. I know nobody wants to admit they need help, but it is the best thing you could do. Do it before you try to kill yourself because it would be a shame if you would die. You might not think it would be, but it really would. I guess I did end up going into a lecture.

When I was 14, I was in the middle of some really crappy stuff... I was being bullied at school, abused at home, my Mum was really ill, and life was really unstable... I never thought about ending it, I have no idea why, I have been thinking about that a lot lately as to why I never thought about it....
It's been 20 odd years since then , and life has continued to go up and down, for instance my Mum has just died and it's really tough, but I am still here waiting for things to get better, but I know they will not, until I look inside me and find something that will make me happy... And that's what life is...
To be honest 14 is not a good age, you kinda full of new hormones, your mind tends to go on overdrive, mine did anyway, I was no longer young enough to go out to play, yet not old enough to work... Everything is changing, parents and siblings just don't get it!
Sometimes life can be really boring... But as hard as it was I was suddenly turning 16 and WOW ... Independence , I was working, going to collage, meeting new friends.. Life had arrived, and it will for you to, just think, your first driving lesson, your first drink, your first kiss... I wish I could go back to your age and wait for all them wonderful things again.... If we are talking in book terms here, try making up your own title, and write the book yourself, that way you have to work through the chapters...the ending should be a mystery.

I have also been curious of death (around when I was your age) for the record God was never a question / motivation for I was born Athiest. It was simply pur wondering.. Ok so I didn't go do it (even though like you i wasn't afraid of it) because I thought of the ppl around me. This is one of those d├ęcisions that will effect everyone and not in a good way. So sometimes we have to put ourselves aside for ppl who love us (family mostly) regardless to what feels right at that moment. I know you aren't asking for oppinions here but figured I can help since I've been where you are, I've felt what you are feeling. Today 15 years later i have a hubby and two children... Happy I didn't miss this chapter!
Take care. -xo

No, I don't embrace you end. God does not embrace your end. You must look upon the stars and realize they had a maker. Have faith in God and his son Jesus. Do you know him? Don't give up on life until you have meet the most beautiful, wise and loving person alive. Would you like to meet him? I can show you how.

I'm happy you've found a god and a reason but I'm sorry to say I'm not really into the whole god worship.

Why skip to the end?

Think of my life like a big book. I'm bored of reading the epilogue so I skip to the end to see what happens.

But an epilogue comes after the ending, and you are leaving out a lot of character development, conflict, and humour. Try reading the first sentence it is suppose to captivate the reader to continue reading the book. And granted some books are difficult reads and hard to understand, but they are still interesting when you try to understand it and have moments of clarity.

Exactly, I don't want to see after the ending, I want to see what the ending was. I read the first 14 chapters and I still hate the book.

You'll never get their if you skip to the epilogue, the ending is before the epilogue. The epilogue are the after thoughts, on how the story continues for the characters after the book ends. Besides you haven't reach the climax of the story, and you won't see the ending if you rip out the pages before you get to them.

the best part of a book is the whole story. considering you and I are about the same age I can sympathize to a certain degree because I went through a really horrible time in my life a year ago and I felt like I wanted to end it all, but I'm glad I didn't. Everyone goes through bad times, some longer than others, but it can't possibly stay like that forever, and I hope you will realize that before it's to late. Also think of anyone that cares for you. family? Think about how heartbroken they would be if you were to die. Life is short enough and thats why you need to look for happiness and spend less time thinking about the bad things. We're young, we have a long life ahead of us. :)

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