My Feeling..

I do not feel I fit into my own culture. What culture do I fit into? I cannot really say, but of course, I do feel attracted to other specific cultures and regions of the world... I do not know exactly why these certain cultural aspects and places attract me like they do. I mean, there are specific reasons, but it is more a FEELING of attraction or belonging. As for how this would be in real life, probably I would be feeling much the same as I do now; anomalous. Of course, I do not deny being American, and I feel love and pride for my parents and where and what I come from in many ways. I am not ashamed. It is difficult to explain. I have more or less concluded that I am made different and meant to be different, and this is the path I must follow in life, however lonely a path it can be.

Most people I meet don't get me, really, and I am sort of a black sheep in this sense. I almost have decided to quit trying to find understanding, but in the end I am too hopeful and open for this, and I believe these are aspects of myself to celebrate and be thankful for! :) It is just hard feeling so disconnected!

I'm not going to cancel out the experience of living in another culture, in fact, it is a goal and a plan of mine, but being realistic is essential. I decide though, regardless, I am who I am, God made me and loves me, and I can take what I like from my own culture and others to apply it to my life, which I absolutely do. But again, the tricky part is finding/knowing/meeting others would who get me. It's really kind of odd and funny how people pigeon-hole me, and sort of stereotype me to certain ways, which are not me, but work out to "fit" me in someone's mind who cannot perceive anything else (my own family included)! I use to try to correct people and explain, but not anymore. It is a waste of time. People get you or they don't!

So, I say to myself and to anyone possibly feeling similar - I hope to hear from you btw - stay true to yourself and the things that stir your soul, heart and mind. Learn from others, never stop learning, and use these people and experiences as opportunities to grow! Make your own culture for yourself, your own family and friends. Realize that it is quality, not quantity that is paramount.
EmbraceTheFriend EmbraceTheFriend
31-35, F
1 Response May 4, 2012

I agree with what you have said. Please PM me sometime so we can chat.