Spaces.

I've procrastinated to share this experience (it's such a big topic), but seeing other people join this group has inspired me to stop doing that. There is so much about my culture that I dont fit into. If race is culture, I dont fit in. If gender is culture, I dont fit in. If language, ethnicity, family, and dress are all culture, then I dont fit in. Sometimes I think it's more than just about how I was raised. I feel innately unable to conform to any kind of social label. I fit easier in spaces. Open, wide, limitless, and dynamic spaces. I love culture, don't get me wrong. But when there is an expectation on me to always act in accordance to that culture, I ache a little.
TheRealMimi TheRealMimi
31-35, F
8 Responses Feb 24, 2010

GADDANGIT, you really nailed it! I feel JUST like you, but have a hard time putting that into to words! But its made me like a loner, I dont feel like I actually fit in anywheres..,I mean dude am I an alien or what lol. Like you I love other cultures, but Im always glad I dont BELONG to other cultures that have these weird things you have to adhere to (like marrying the person of your MOTHERS choice, yikes)

GADDANGIT, you really nailed it! I feel JUST like you, but have a hard time putting that into to words! But its made me like a loner, I dont feel like I actually fit in anywheres..,I mean dude am I an alien or what lol. Like you I love other cultures, but Im always glad I dont BELONG to other cultures that have these weird things you have to adhere to (like marrying the person of your MOTHERS choice, yikes)

runnagirrl, i love that it's made u stand grounded in who you are. i have always struggled to remember that. on good days, i'm 150% me and that's an awesome feeling. but on bad days i hurt and dread so much that i don't fit in. but i know that my core loves to be different, and this group is a lovely reminder that i am not alone (and not so different after all) *big smile*

i can really relate to this too. i have been frowned upon many times for not conforming to certain beliefs and behaviors, but rather than give me a change of heart, it's only made me stand by who i am more strongly. i think it's much healthier to live in those big, open spaces full of individuality and possibility, rather than to stuff yourself into little "boxes" that society has pre-cut for us.<br />
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and i love the chess analogy too. :)

tandi83 that was an exciting line for me...about the chess. that's exactly what i mean :)

moreandless you're right. as much as we're taught to frown upon difference, i'm always attracted to it. i love this site for it's ability to promote unity amongst diversity and i love to see so many new, different, out of the box groups formed here. exciting stuff.

Mimi, I understand exactly what you mean. Another one, is music...if music is culture I definately don't fit in. I am not known to conform and this often is frowned upon by friends and family but I always tell myself that I'd rather be a chess pla<x>yer rather than a chess piece.

That's just admirable, MZ, not to fit in is often a great quality. I don't think we 'belong' to any kind of group on the basis of physical traits. We belong to spiritual nationalities and feel at ease with people that sometimes are completely different...