Its not that I hold a grudge. I really don't. People can go on about their lives and I wouldn't give them the time of day. My anger or any other emotion feels too precious to waste on those people. But I'll always remeber who did what, or said that. So I know who not to trust and who I can count on. My forgivness is precious too. But in a different way. Because if I can not forgive you then that itself is an example. If I can't trust you then I shut you out. And because I am not mean I still talk to them, but in a way that makes them feel...outside. A simple yes, no, maybe. Its like my vocabulary has been cleaned out. Doing that tears at me inside. Deep down I want to forgive them, I want the wall I made or they made to crumble away. But something hold me back and I watch things happen on their own.