I Don't Have It In Me

And I admire people who are able to.  There are five people I still can't find it in me to forgive and forget.  I am able to live my life pretty happily though and I feel blessed in many ways, so I'm been able to get on with my life without forgiving them or forgetting what they have done. 

I know people who've forgiven other people who have hurt them or their loved ones.  For instance I know people who've forgiven those who have murdered their brother or sister or mother or father, and that is just absolutely AMAZING to me.  How do they find it in their hearts to forgive?  I want to know.  

I'm pretty confused, though, when it comes to whether or not I should even forgive the people who have done me or my loved ones wrong (forget forgetting, because that just isn't going to happen).  And they did pretty horrible things, absolutely horrendous things, and so it's not like it's just a matter of holding grudges against petty things. 

Do I need to forgive?  Will my life be better if I do?  Will I be happier, more content, more free of the past?  I don't know.  For now, at least, I'm not willing to find out.  I can't find it in me to forgive just yet.

yoyy yoyy
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 26, 2009

If it is something really bad, You may never be able to forgive them. Don't let it turn to hate. That would be bad for you. As far as forgetting when someone has hurt my loved ones or myself. Not gonna happen. If I can forgive them, I still never forget. If something causes us pain we will always remember. We have to put it in the right place so we don't become focused on it. I don't think not forgiving someone for doing terrible things to you or your loved ones is bad for your soul. As long as it doesn't turn to hate. You have to put it in the right place.

Yeah, I don't think very highly of any of the people that I can't forgive. I don't hate them, though. I don't hate anybody - even with the guy who raped me, I don't hate him, I just can't forgive him.<br />
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Not forgiving them is doing something to my soul, it's doing something yet I can't put my finger on it. I don't know if forgiving them will help me have a more settled, comfortable soul.

well I will say this if you don't forgive someone it sometimes can lead to hate and that tears away at your soul. I have the same problem but I manage to just say its nothing I could have done to make that outcome change.<br />
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I partially forgiven the person but our relationship will never ever be the same after the fact.