My Father And I

Lets begin with I respect my father but he doesn't show the same respect to me. Its always been his way or the highway. I am 19 years old and I am beginning to make my own choices. I am very found of working out and becoming a bodybuilder. While my father is almost 500lbs 5ft 8 and can't even walk. All he does is talk about politics and sports. My view about politics is that don't really help and if I want to do anything I have to make it on my own. Sports, I don't really mind, he just is obssessed about it. I try to tell him that none of these athletes if know you exist so why do you care so much about them. He just responds to tell me to shutup. Then one day I told him I dislike football and he ask me, "Are you even a man." Then we had a huge argument after that. Today, he wanted me to go play golf with my brother and my brother is just like my dad so I have a hard time getting along with too. I told him no thanks, how about you go play golf with him. Then he said, All you care about is yourself. I told him that is not true. I have always helped him out and get what he wanted. Then he has threatend me many times by hitting me and I told him I would hit him back even harder. I know violence isn't the way to go but its starting to get at that point. I feel consoling won't even do the job. My dad is also a coward in many ways he faked an injury but not going to vietnam and when I got out of high school I wanted to join the marines and he told me he disown me. I don't want to tell him to just screw off or anything I don't quit at anything but he starting to really bother me.
jhelfer jhelfer
1 Response Aug 7, 2010

I know it's got to be difficult but let me give you a guys point of view, being I'm a guy, NOT GAY. I think I understand how he feels, I was dating a girl who found out that I had a curiosity toward female bodybuilders. It's something I didn't share with people, but honestly it embarrassed me she found out. But what I didn't know, she was curious also but not for the same reasons.

In the beginning she really wanted to improve herself and she had that rare gift of putting on muscle with ease. I wasn't going to discourage her, fitness really makes for better sex actually, especially since I sorta of dig it anyway. But she sorta got the bug and took it a bit over the top. I can't say I didn't like the changes, but her self confidence was almost becoming what appeared to be more less arrogant and pushy all the time. If she wanted her way, she made no bones about she was going to get what she wanted, and just about had to suck it up or else. I'm not going to go so far as to say she threatened me, it's just the attitude was very condescending actually.

I think it was a curiosity thing for the most part between us, can I, can she, if you know what I mean? I think we live in a world today where women are just beginning to actually assert themselves and I think once a female reaches a stage where she thinks or actually realizes she can compete on physical level, that curiosity becomes a challenge in it self, even if it's the one you love. It certainly is a two way street like it or not. Women are not expected to be big strong muscular types in our culture so the question becomes, how do you deal with those who do? I would imagine that if YOU have any significant or noticeable amount of muscle showing your dad may just be very uncomfortable and confused, feeling inadequate comes to mind immediately with me, I hope that makes since? But after reading your post, I think you are doing the right thing by continuing to respect your Dad. You must never lose that. He just doesn't understand and trust me you don't have to prove yourself. I think that's the big temptation for you.

As for me, I finally just had to call it quits, it's not like she's my daughter. Your situation is different but I think the same fears exist, especially if your dad is so out of shape. What about your other siblings, how do they react to your bodybuilding? I'm sure you have friends who are curious?

As for me I could see a progression of her constant showing me she was the boss attitude. What can I say, if you got it and you can back it up, what's to stop you? There is no long term commitment in my situation so a break up was eventually going to happen, however, that SHOULD never be an acceptable alternative in a Family. Had I been married, I would have had to find away to live with it. But I do miss her and yeah the SEX was over the top. I hope that this helps?