We Always Fight

Me and my gradmother are always at eachothers throats. Sometimes I just feel worthless when I am around her. Like because She's there, I mean absolutely nothing. I try so hard to make her happy, but when I do something nice for her, she can't say thank you, it is more of I still made a mistake, and I still messed up!
littlesis littlesis
18-21, F
1 Response May 8, 2007

Unfortunately, we don't all get the stereotypical sweet and loving grandma we all know about. I understand completely about feeling worthless because of the treatment from someone who is supposed to love you and cherish you. This advice is hard to give, as I am a believer in love and forgiveness, but sometimes family members can be so toxic and damaging you have to cut them out of your heart. Protect yourself from her words as much as you can, because the damage can last an entire lifetime if it's bad enough. I am pretty sure my grandmother had some mental health issues, and was not able to love others in much capacity, not even her own children. <br />
<br />
I view her very differently now than when I was a child, and though the damage has been done emotionally, the words she speaks currently have little effect on me besides the initial sting. I view her almost like a tennis ball machine...predictable, unreasonable, and just part of her nature to strike out at others randomly, and I know just to stay out of her way.