I Don't Want To Turn Into My Mom.

My family and I imigrated here from the Philippines about 14 years ago. We've been through rough times, financially and mentally. Slowly and with a lot of hardwork, we managed to make a good living for ourselves, and become very successful.

I feel like my mother isn't thankful for all the stuff that we've overcome and all the blessings that we have. She comes home, and literally cries, about not having dinner on the table (which is weird because she comes home at 3pm, and with her, comes the groceries to make dinner), she yells at me for being on the computer (when I'm actually taking an online AP university course), and screams at my father for sleeping in the basement (even though she kicked him out of their room). I just don't get it, she drives anywhere she wants in a brand-new Honda Pilot, call anyone she wants on the her new Blackberry, when she comes home, she doesn't have to make dinner or help my little sister with her homework. She complains that my sister isn't a fast a learner as some kids, yet she can afford to hire a tutor for her. I have no idea what she has to complain about. When she comes home, she just eats her dinner, and then goes to sleep. On the days that she's off, she starts doing the laundry, but she never really finishes, and usually I have to clean up the rest for her, but then she cries about how she has to do everything around the house?

She never really had to raise us, that was always up to our grandparents or the paid baby sitters' job. When she would try to parent us, she would basically just use abuse, and then she wonders why we tense up whenever she comes home. She complains that she's lonely, but whenever I try to talk to her, she just screams at me for being fat or irresponsible, or for not being like her friends' kids, which hurts a lot. I wish I could tell her about my life, about how I'm on honor roll, or how I made the volleyball, basketball, soccer, badminton, and track team, despite being "fat". I wish I could show her the committees I've been apart of, and all the community projects I've been a part of and how they've all been successful, but whenever I try to talk to her, she shifts the focus onto how all my accomplishments would be better if only I was skinny. I am terrified to become a mother, or even a wife, because I don't want to turn into her. I'd rather grow up and die alone then to put other innocent people through what my mom has put us through.

I know it probably sounds like a rant that many people have heard about, and there'll always be that person that will say "oh please, kid, don't complain, shut up and go home", but I guess in a way, I'm thankful that there's people like that. Thankful that people like that have lived such a good life, they're oblivious to how much this stuff actually hurts, and they think we can just brush it off and forget about it. don't want to turn into my mother

layyahh layyahh
Aug 5, 2010