I Resent The Fact That I Have To Call Her My Mother.

    Ever since I was little me and my mother never really did get along. I just felt no love from her. I mean she had four kids before us and didn't raise any of them. No surprise to me that she didn't raise me or my brothers either. She has never been there for me and now that I live with her she still isn't there. The little time that she is there I wish she would just leave me alone anyways.
     When I was in Texas my mom was cheating on my dad with some fat Mexican guy named Neil. He had his daughters sleep on MY bed while I slept at the floor. His oldest daughter took my raggedy Ann doll. My mother would do nothing. I recall a time when my brothers were playing with Lego's when hearing the train go by, they went by the window to go see. He came in and yelled at them and he threw them on the floor and slapped them. I watch by the door frame while he did it. That wasn't the first time he did that kind of stuff. He use to slap me a lot for not calling him daddy. My mother knew, how could you not know. Let give her the benefit of the doubt, how the hell do you not know that your children are getting abused by the ******* your cheating with.
    He and my mom took us to the pool...I had my pink cherry bathingsuit that my grandmother made for me and pink arm floaties...my brothers had there Spider-man shorts on with there blue and green arm floaties. Neil took Zak and Gabe dunk them in the pool and kept them down under the water til he HAD to lift them up for air...somehow they got away and run to the door my mom grab me and handed me to him while she fetch my brothers...I would escape while me and my brothers took turns getting drowned....I HATE my mother...not only did she help the ******* but she thought it was cute and funny...I CANT STAND MY MOTHER...for this reason. I also remember being an aqua phobic for til I was 8. Forever to this day I resent the fact that she is my mother. She is so selfish and create this illusion to everyone that she is sooo great. Like she is some kind of ******* saint, even people that I don't even know. It sicken me and ****** me off. She has done absolutely nothing of what a mother should do and be. I use to wake her *** up and take me to my mama(grandmother) house because SHE was my mother. She took care of me she sacrifice. She would walk instead of take the bus so she can save the bus fair for when I wanted Ice cream for the Ice cream man. She would split her pill in half to save on medicine money just so I can have the barbie dream house for Christmas. She would take me to my dance and choir. She was the one that came to my performances. While my mother was to busy with work or boyfriends.
    So when I tell people I don't even know, that my mother sucks I don't want no one defending her no more.