I Don't Like You, Nor Would I Ever Be Like You

Because of my mothers affair with a married man, I am here.  Guess there is some purpose I have not discovered it as of yet.  My mother and I do not see eye to eye, nor do we even get along. She has called me on several occasions and made accusatory remarks when I just try to stay out of her way. She is like a hurricane, you either evacuate or hang on for the ride of your life. She is over the top, yells screams and carries on, takes 13 different pills and drinks on top of that. She is never in her right mind and has no trouble telling me that I was a huge accident and the biggest mistake she has ever made. Telling me that we would get along if I didnt judge her, I have never said anything .. I tell her  that she shouldnt drink while  taking 13 different pills but she says thats judging so I gave up. I finally had to tell her that I did not want to speak to her again. She raised me by not raising me at all, if I was gone at my grandmothers or grandfathers, she was a happier person. My brother got brand new clothes from Dilliards, I got the stuff from the thrift store. My brother asked for the world I never asked for anything. I did what was asked of me and it was expected, my brother half a**ed his chores and got paid. I still hold resentments because I grew up not really knowing love but trying to please everyone and I am still here, my mother talking to my brother like I dont exist. I think she is happier this way.
bannd bannd
36-40, F
1 Response May 6, 2012

I often wondered if women who have children with married men think that these children will grow up and find out and how they will feel about it....