We Just Don't.

I experience a lot of conflict with my mother.

A large part of it is that our personalities and dispositions are similar, but with her trying to shape and mould me. To some extent, I think she tries to live vicariously through me, and influence me to do things she would like to do.

We both have health and memory problems, and it leads to a lot of fighting. Throw in that she feels lonely and wants to talk constantly to feel accepted / not lonely, whereas I don't like talking much, at all, to anyone, and have a really hard time concentrating-- there is a lot of conflict and arguments and upset on both of our sides.

Overall, it would be easier if I was not living at home- being able to limit how much time I spend with her would help me, a lot. I hate hurting others, but she drains me and leaves me feeling exhausted. I feel like a bad daughter sometimes for not getting along with her very well.
Rhan Rhan
26-30, F
5 Responses Jun 26, 2007

Why feel like a bad daughter sometimes? Respect is a mutual, shall we say "emotion"? What is good for the goose is good for the ganter. I just, for the life of me, cannot imagine one not loving and respecting one's own blood? Have two teenage daughters (youngest one will be 21 tomorrow), oldest one got married 2 months ago, her being 25 years old. Been divorced for nearly 20 years and boy oh boy, apart from not being able to raise them in my own house, because of our legal system, how much I love my daughters!!! Hope you and your mom can sort out your relationship. Good luck.

Yes, I completely agree. When did it become our jobs to let them dump on us! I have pulled away a lot from my mom and it does help. I have to say though these issues we have with our mothers are always there. We can only monitor how much time we spend with them. Good luck!

My god, i feel EXACTLY like you! I can't stand her problems of being lonely and discounting this on me! I have to study a lot, but she just desconcentrates me. I would love to live alone, but i don't have the money and she would be very upset!

Are you still living at home? Has anything changed?

Not living under the same roof did wonders for the relationship between my mother and my sister. Perhaps the same will be true for you.